A Lot of Wind

Lyrics

(1)

Desperate for entertainment
So I turn the TV on
There's people jumping up and down
Then they have the panel on
And they talk a lot of wind
They talk a lot of wind

Then they have the weatherman on
He used to teach all our friends
He talked a lot of wind
He talks a lot about wind

Then they have Carl Lewis on
He's got a ponytail and he's a vegan (2)
He talks a lot of wind
He talks a lot about wind

I turn the tragic lantern on (3)
It's a program 'Good Morning' (4)
It's a lot of wind
They talk a lot about wind

I'm real sick and in distress
I got octagonals in my eyelids
From watching all that wind
I get horrible horrible horrible dreams
So I ring the TV line and get a lot of wind
They talk a lot of wind

You see them selling carpets
You see them in the shops
You see them on the kids programs
And they talk a lot of wind

Oh the boredom in my bones
From belching a lot of wind
They talk a lot about wind
They talk a lot about wind

I gotta forget about the wind
Has a lot of nerve
To talk a lot about wind

There's a roly-poly, roly-poly man
He's got a yak haircut (dick, dick, dick) (5)
They talk a lot about wind

Notes

1. From Reformation

The song is ostensibly about "Fred the Weather [Man]" from Granada TV amongst other pundits of that ilk. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Talbot. However, there were other programmes which inspired the track. The following is from an interview with Andrew Mueller ("Worker's Playtime", Melody Maker, 10 April 1991):
 
"There's one or two that I switch off automatically. That one that's really offensive ... 'Kilroy', that's it. Really offensive. Have you seen that? 'If you've ever been a child molester, ring "Kilroy"'... Bloody hell."
 
There should be laws, don't you think, against the general public from appearing on TV.
 
"No, the general public are all right. It's the people behind it who're the worry."
 

Talbot taught biology at Altrincham Grammar School For Boys in Trafford (Greater Manchester), which Simon Wolstencroft attended during Talbot's tenure. In 2013, Talbot was arrested for allegedly sexually abusing boys during his time at the school. 
 
 
2. Carl Lewis is an American track athelete who won 9 gold Olympic medals and is indeed a vegan, and at one point sported dreadlocks tied into a ponytail. He once had a would-be world record jump invalidated due to what is technically known as "wind assistance" (thanks to Hexen Blumenthal).  
 
3."Tragic lantern" means television, as Dan explains:
 

A "magic lantern" was an early projector, but the phrase came to be used to refer to television. "Tragic lantern" is therefore a disapproving pun on "magic lantern".

From the introduction to the Penguin Book of Horror Stories (1984), edited by J.A. Cuddon:


Nowadays, so efficient are the media, one can participate daily and vicariously in the horrific misfortunes which befall others. As one sits comfortably sipping a drink, pictures of death, agony and catastrophe, bounced off satellites between commercials, are skillfully presented on the tragic lantern. The results of the latest famine, earthquake, war or bomb outrage blend into weather forecasts, football scores and advertisements for cat food and breakfast cereals. The newspapers flourish on the offal of other people’s disasters. It has become easy to satisfy a fundamental, human, ghoulish instinct and appetite.
 
4. Note from the Lyrics Parade: "Refers to the UK mid-morning TV show "This Morning", which MES refers to again in "North West Fashion Show" (Cerebral Caustic track): 'Richard and Judy's [the presenters] bastard offspring!' The weatherman on the show who talked a lot about wind was Fred Talbot." There is also a probable reference to Richard and Judy in "Is This New."  

^
 
5. From a 1990 NME feature in which MES was part of a panel asked to discuss contemporary records:
 

THE SOUP DRAGONS: 'I'm Free'

Paul: Now here's a case in point. They were fine as an indie guitar band and they're fine now....There's no problem with that.

MES: I just find it embarrassing. I can't watch it. That geek with the yak haircut.

After Danny put me on to this interview, I compared some photos of the Soup Dragons with photos of yaks, and the line actually makes perfect sense--try it. 

This is strictly incidental, since it came out in 2006, but there is a children's book called Does A Yak Get a Haircut? 
 
According to "The Story of the Fall," "The version on Sinister Waltz contains the line, 'He's the king of Granadaland' removed from the album version, possibly because the roly poly presenter and carpet salesman was easily identifiable from this more precise description." "Granadaland" refers to the region covered by ITV Granada (formerly Granada Television), the regional television service for Northwest England and home of Fred Talbot and Richard and Judy. The "more precise description" may point to Talbot (the closest to "roly poly" out of the three), although in that case the omission would be odd since the lyrics above are less coy. On the other hand, CF suggests below that the line refers to Tony Wilson, the promoter, co-founder of Factory Records, and nightclub owner who was also a journalist for Granada Television. A Dan points out, MES may also have a guest in mind. See "More Information" below for more on Granadaland. 
 

 

More Information

A Lot of Wind: Fall Tracks A-Z

More On "Granadaland" From Dan

 

"Granadaland"

From the book A Sense of Place: regional British television drama, 1956-82, by Lez Cooke (Manchester University Press, 2012):
 

Cooke, LezThe Granada Group was based in London, with offices in Golden Square, but when the company was awarded a Northern television licence the Bernsteins committed themselves to establishing a new television company in the North by building new studios in Manchester - the first purpose built television centre in Britain.

The region allocated to Granada was based on Lancashire and Yorkshire but also included North Wales and most of Cumbria, while in the south the region embraced Cheshire, the northern parts of Shropshire, Staffordshire, Derbyshire and Nottinghamshire, and most of Lincolnshire. Lancashire and and the western part of the region was to be served by a transmitter on Winter Hill in Lancashire, while Yorkshire and the eastern part of the region was to be covered by a transmitter on Emley Moor in the West Riding of Yorkshire. When Granada TV launched on 3 May 1956, however, only the Winter Hill transmitter was operational. It was not until 3 November 1956 that the Emley Moor transmitter came into operation, which meant that for six months nearly five million people in the east of the region could not receive Granada's programmes. When fully operational the region which Sidney Bernstein dubbed 'Granadaland' embraced a potential audience of over twelve million people, equivalent in size to that of London and the South and considerably larger than the Midland region.



Bernstein, according to Cooke, regarded "Granadaland" as homogenous, but Cooke rightly observes that there were cultural differences across the region, and that even when Yorkshire TV took over the eastern part of the region from 1968, "Granadaland still embraced two large urban populations, in Manchester and Liverpool, with distinct cultural identities and strong local rivalries."

Cooke goes on,
 


Contrary to Sidney Bernstein's original equation of Granadaland with "the North", after the loss of Yorkshire and the eastern part of Granada's region in 1968 'Granadaland' was quickly redefined as the North West, with Lancashire at its heart, in a sleight of hand which acknowledged the distinct regional and cultural differences east and west of the Pennines but which also handily described the region embraced by the signal from the Winter Hill transmitter.



Cooke then goes on to quote and discuss Tony Wilson defining the boundaries of the region in 2002. I won't quote all of that, but someone wanting to understand the meaning of "Granadaland" could do worse than read the book from p48.

 

Comments (20)

dannyno
  • 1. dannyno | 05/05/2013
If Fred Talbot is the weatherman in question, and if he indeed "used to teach all our friends", then the following is relevant: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2013/apr/12/fred-talbot-police-appeal-to-former-pupils
nairng
  • 2. nairng | 16/08/2013
Richard & Judy ALSO mentioned in The CD In Your Hand from The Post Nearly Man...albeit familiarly referred to as Dick & Judy. I sometimes wish MES would switch the damn thing off, he writes too much about telly imo
dannyno
  • 3. dannyno | 07/09/2013
Carl Lewis became vegan in July 1990, according to his introduction to the book "Very Vegetarian". Shift-Work was released 15 April 1991. So somewhere between those two dates, we should be able to identify which edition of This Morning Lewis appeared on, and then see if that helps us with some of the other lyrics.
CF
  • 4. CF | 20/09/2013
"The King of Granadaland" = Tony Wilson
dannyno
  • 5. dannyno | 24/05/2014
MES also refers to yak haircuts in this interview:
http://www.visi.com/fall/gigography/90dec2229.html
dannyno
  • 6. dannyno | 30/05/2014
"There's a roly-poly, roly-poly man
He's got a yak haircut"

We need to be careful. The assumption everybody has is that the roly-poly yak-hair-styled man is a This Morning presenter. This may be so, but the song does not give us that information. He could, like Carl Lewis, have been a guest. Or MES may have imported him from another show.

After all, we're already making an assumption that all the references must be to "This Morning", because the weatherman's identity is a dead cert.

However, there was also the breakfast TV show "Good Morning Britain" (1983-1992: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Morning_Britain_(1983_TV_programme))

Tony Wilson had worked with Richard and Judy in the past, but he wasn't on daytime or morning TV in the early 1990s. Doesn't mean "King of Granadaland" isn't a reference to him, but since his nickname was actually "Mr Manchester", it's not clear cut.

The only person I can find who ever actually got called "King of Granadaland" was Sidney Bernstein: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sidney_Bernstein,_Baron_Bernstein, who founded Granada TV.
dannyno
  • 7. dannyno | 08/04/2017
"tragic lantern"

A "magic lantern" was an early projector (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_lantern), but the phrase came to be used to refer to television. "Tragic lantern" is therefore a disapproving pun on "magic lantern".

A prior use of the phrase:


Nowadays, so efficient are the media, one can participate daily and vicariously in the horrific misfortunes which befall others. As one sits comfortably sipping a drink, pictures of death, agony and catastrophe, bounced off satellites between commercials, are skillfully presented on the tragic lantern. The results of the latest famine, earthquake, war or bomb outrage blend into weather forecasts, football scores and advertisements for cat food and breakfast cereals. The newspapers flourish on the offal of other people’s disasters. It has become easy to satisfy a fundamental, human, ghoulish instinct and appetite.


From the introduction to the Penguin Book of Horror Stories (1984), edited by J.A. Cuddon.
https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=5ZoNAQAAMAAJ
Huckleberry
  • 8. Huckleberry | 19/01/2018
There's a reference to "Roly poly man" in Donovan's song "Hurdy Gurdy Man". This was recorded by Nigel Kennedy & Brix around the same time as Shift-Work. Coincidence?
dannyno
  • 9. dannyno | 20/01/2018
Huckleberry, comment #8. Well, Shift-Work was released April 1991. The Brix/Kennedy version of Hurdy Gurdy Man first appeared on the "Island of Circles" tribute album released in June 1992. On the other hand, the Donovan/Kennedy/Brix performance on the Late Late Show was broadcast on Channel 4 on 11 February 1991. That might be too late for it to influence Shift-Work, but I don't know. The most notable thing, I would imagine from MES's point of view, about that performance would be that Brix knocked the microphone to the floor. And nobody seems to have a yak haircut.

My vote is that it's a coincidence. But it is a notable one.
Hexen Blumenthal
  • 10. Hexen Blumenthal | 03/04/2018
Carl Lewis was once denied an Olympic
Medal because his jump was said to be "assisted by the wind."
dannyno
  • 11. dannyno | 05/04/2018
Comment #10. Are you sure? I've not found any indication of that. Records yes. The classic in that respect was the 1991 World Championships, where wind played a big role in terms of records. But that was after the release of the album. However, the "wind assisted" element might explain why Carl Lewis might have been talking about the wind on breakfast TV (if he was).
bzfgt
  • 12. bzfgt (link) | 07/04/2018
Yes it was the 1991 World Championships in Athletics, whatever that is.
dannyno
  • 13. dannyno | 15/08/2019
"Granadaland"

From the book A Sense of Place
dannyno
  • 14. dannyno | 15/08/2019
Oops.

"Granadaland"

From the book A Sense of Place: regional British television drama, 1956-82, by Lez Cooke (Manchester University Press, 2012):

Cooke, LezThe Granada Group was based in London, with offices in Golden Square, but when the company was awarded a Northern television licence the Bernsteins committed themselves to establishing a new television company in the North by building new studios in Manchester - the first purpose built television centre in Britain.

The region allocated to Granada was based on Lancashire and Yorkshire but also included North Wales and most of Cumbria, while in the south the region embraced Cheshire, the northern parts of Shropshire, Staffordshire, Derbyshire and Nottinghamshire, and most of Lincolnshire. Lancashire and and the western part of the region was to be served by a transmitter on Winter Hill in Lancashire, while Yorkshire and the eastern part of the region was to be covered by a transmitter on Emley Moor in the West Riding of Yorkshire. When Granada TV launched on 3 May 1956, however, only the Winter Hill transmitter was operational. It was not until 3 November 1956 that the Emley Moor transmitter came into operation, which meant that for six months nearly five million people in the east of the region could not receive Granada's programmes. When fully operational the region which Sidney Bernstein dubbed 'Granadaland' embraced a potential audience of over twelve million people, equivalent in size to that of London and the South and considerably larger than the Midland region.


Bernstein, according to Cooke, regarded "Granadaland" as homogenous, but Cooke rightly observes that there were cultural differences across the region, and that even when Yorkshire TV took over the eastern part of the region from 1968, "Granadaland still embraced two large urban populations
dannyno
  • 15. dannyno | 15/08/2019
Oops.

"Granadaland"

From the book A Sense of Place: regional British television drama, 1956-82, by Lez Cooke (Manchester University Press, 2012):

Cooke, LezThe Granada Group was based in London, with offices in Golden Square, but when the company was awarded a Northern television licence the Bernsteins committed themselves to establishing a new television company in the North by building new studios in Manchester - the first purpose built television centre in Britain.

The region allocated to Granada was based on Lancashire and Yorkshire but also included North Wales and most of Cumbria, while in the south the region embraced Cheshire, the northern parts of Shropshire, Staffordshire, Derbyshire and Nottinghamshire, and most of Lincolnshire. Lancashire and and the western part of the region was to be served by a transmitter on Winter Hill in Lancashire, while Yorkshire and the eastern part of the region was to be covered by a transmitter on Emley Moor in the West Riding of Yorkshire. When Granada TV launched on 3 May 1956, however, only the Winter Hill transmitter was operational. It was not until 3 November 1956 that the Emley Moor transmitter came into operation, which meant that for six months nearly five million people in the east of the region could not receive Granada's programmes. When fully operational the region which Sidney Bernstein dubbed 'Granadaland' embraced a potential audience of over twelve million people, equivalent in size to that of London and the South and considerably larger than the Midland region.


Bernstein, according to Cooke, regarded "Granadaland" as homogenous, but Cooke rightly observes that there were cultural differences across the region, and that even when Yorkshire TV took over the eastern part of the region from 1968, "Granadaland still embraced two large urban populations
dannyno
  • 16. dannyno | 15/08/2019
Sorry!

"Granadaland still embraced two large urban populations, in Manchester and Liverpool, with distinct cultural identities and strong local rivalries."

Cooke goes on,


Contrary to Sidney Bernstein's original equation of Granadaland with "the North", after the loss of Yorkshire and the eastern part of Granada's region in 1968 'Granadaland' was quickly redefined as the North West, with Lancashire at its heart, in a sleight of hand which acknowledged the distinct regional and cultural differences east and west of the Pennines but which also handily described the region embraced by the signal from the Winter Hill transmitter.


Cooke then goes on to quote and discuss Tony Wilson defining the boundaries of the region in 2002. I won't quote all of that, but someone wanting to understand the meaning of "Granadaland" could do worse than read the book from p48:

https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=LhJQDwAAQBAJ&lpg=PA49&dq=%22GRANADALAND%22&pg=PA48#v=onepage&q&f=false
bzfgt
  • 17. bzfgt (link) | 16/08/2019
I seemingly can't read that page of the book in the US, I just put your text in "More Information" though as this is one of those cases where I don't know how much of it is sufficiently relevant. Lez Cooke needs to buy a thesaurus and find another word for "embraced." "Encompassed," maybe?
The Counsellor
  • 18. The Counsellor | 16/02/2021
As "he used to teach all our friends" I'd imagine Si Wolstencroft told Mark a few tales about Fred Talbot because Ian Brown from The Patrol and The Stone Roses (one of Simon's friends) gave evidence against Talbot at his trial regarding his behaviour.
dannyno
  • 19. dannyno | 03/05/2021
Comment #18, Talbot's later prosecution flagged by me in comment #1 and already noted. While it's obviously possible MES may have heard some stories, there's no indication of this in the lyric, which merely neutrally notes that Talbot taught people he knew.

Talbot's arrest was over a decade after this song was written, and related to allegations about the 1970s and early 1980s. One of the problems, of course, is that victims of abuse (and those who knew it was happening) didn't necessarily talk about it openly.
Steve Forester-Melville
  • 20. Steve Forester-Melville | 26/07/2021
(5) I always took this to be a reference to the TV astrologer Russell Grant.

‘from 1992–95 [Russell Grant] was a regular expert on This Morning with Richard and Judy offering astrological advice.’

He could more easily be described as ‘roll-poly’ than anybody mentioned & subjectively his hair-cut could also be described as’yak’.

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