A Lot of Wind
Lyrics
Desperate for entertainment
So I turn the TV on
There's people jumping up and down
Then they have the panel on
And they talk a lot of wind
They talk a lot of wind
Then they have the weatherman on
He used to teach all our friends
He talked a lot of wind
He talks a lot about wind
Then they have Carl Lewis on
He's got a ponytail and he's a vegan (2)
He talks a lot of wind
He talks a lot about wind
I turn the tragic lantern on (3)
It's a program 'Good Morning' (4)
It's a lot of wind
They talk a lot about wind
I'm real sick and in distress
I got octagonals in my eyelids
From watching all that wind
I get horrible horrible horrible dreams
So I ring the TV line and get a lot of wind
They talk a lot of wind
You see them selling carpets
You see them in the shops
You see them on the kids programs
And they talk a lot of wind
Oh the boredom in my bones
From belching a lot of wind
They talk a lot about wind
They talk a lot about wind
I gotta forget about the wind
Has a lot of nerve
To talk a lot about wind
There's a roly-poly, roly-poly man
He's got a yak haircut (dick, dick, dick) (5)
They talk a lot about wind
Notes
1. From Reformation:
Talbot taught biology at Altrincham Grammar School For Boys in Trafford (Greater Manchester), which Simon Wolstencroft attended during Talbot's tenure. In 2013, Talbot was arrested for allegedly sexually abusing boys during his time at the school.
A "magic lantern" was an early projector, but the phrase came to be used to refer to television. "Tragic lantern" is therefore a disapproving pun on "magic lantern".
From the introduction to the Penguin Book of Horror Stories (1984), edited by J.A. Cuddon:
Nowadays, so efficient are the media, one can participate daily and vicariously in the horrific misfortunes which befall others. As one sits comfortably sipping a drink, pictures of death, agony and catastrophe, bounced off satellites between commercials, are skillfully presented on the tragic lantern. The results of the latest famine, earthquake, war or bomb outrage blend into weather forecasts, football scores and advertisements for cat food and breakfast cereals. The newspapers flourish on the offal of other people’s disasters. It has become easy to satisfy a fundamental, human, ghoulish instinct and appetite.
THE SOUP DRAGONS: 'I'm Free'
Paul: Now here's a case in point. They were fine as an indie guitar band and they're fine now....There's no problem with that.
MES: I just find it embarrassing. I can't watch it. That geek with the yak haircut.
After Danny put me on to this interview, I compared some photos of the Soup Dragons with photos of yaks, and the line actually makes perfect sense--try it.
More Information
A Lot of Wind: Fall Tracks A-Z
More On "Granadaland" From Dan
"Granadaland"
From the book A Sense of Place: regional British television drama, 1956-82, by Lez Cooke (Manchester University Press, 2012):
Cooke, LezThe Granada Group was based in London, with offices in Golden Square, but when the company was awarded a Northern television licence the Bernsteins committed themselves to establishing a new television company in the North by building new studios in Manchester - the first purpose built television centre in Britain.
The region allocated to Granada was based on Lancashire and Yorkshire but also included North Wales and most of Cumbria, while in the south the region embraced Cheshire, the northern parts of Shropshire, Staffordshire, Derbyshire and Nottinghamshire, and most of Lincolnshire. Lancashire and and the western part of the region was to be served by a transmitter on Winter Hill in Lancashire, while Yorkshire and the eastern part of the region was to be covered by a transmitter on Emley Moor in the West Riding of Yorkshire. When Granada TV launched on 3 May 1956, however, only the Winter Hill transmitter was operational. It was not until 3 November 1956 that the Emley Moor transmitter came into operation, which meant that for six months nearly five million people in the east of the region could not receive Granada's programmes. When fully operational the region which Sidney Bernstein dubbed 'Granadaland' embraced a potential audience of over twelve million people, equivalent in size to that of London and the South and considerably larger than the Midland region.
Bernstein, according to Cooke, regarded "Granadaland" as homogenous, but Cooke rightly observes that there were cultural differences across the region, and that even when Yorkshire TV took over the eastern part of the region from 1968, "Granadaland still embraced two large urban populations, in Manchester and Liverpool, with distinct cultural identities and strong local rivalries."
Cooke goes on,
Contrary to Sidney Bernstein's original equation of Granadaland with "the North", after the loss of Yorkshire and the eastern part of Granada's region in 1968 'Granadaland' was quickly redefined as the North West, with Lancashire at its heart, in a sleight of hand which acknowledged the distinct regional and cultural differences east and west of the Pennines but which also handily described the region embraced by the signal from the Winter Hill transmitter.
Cooke then goes on to quote and discuss Tony Wilson defining the boundaries of the region in 2002. I won't quote all of that, but someone wanting to understand the meaning of "Granadaland" could do worse than read the book from p48.
Comments (20)
http://www.visi.com/fall/gigography/90dec2229.html
He's got a yak haircut"
We need to be careful. The assumption everybody has is that the roly-poly yak-hair-styled man is a This Morning presenter. This may be so, but the song does not give us that information. He could, like Carl Lewis, have been a guest. Or MES may have imported him from another show.
After all, we're already making an assumption that all the references must be to "This Morning", because the weatherman's identity is a dead cert.
However, there was also the breakfast TV show "Good Morning Britain" (1983-1992: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Morning_Britain_(1983_TV_programme))
Tony Wilson had worked with Richard and Judy in the past, but he wasn't on daytime or morning TV in the early 1990s. Doesn't mean "King of Granadaland" isn't a reference to him, but since his nickname was actually "Mr Manchester", it's not clear cut.
The only person I can find who ever actually got called "King of Granadaland" was Sidney Bernstein: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sidney_Bernstein,_Baron_Bernstein, who founded Granada TV.
A "magic lantern" was an early projector (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_lantern), but the phrase came to be used to refer to television. "Tragic lantern" is therefore a disapproving pun on "magic lantern".
A prior use of the phrase:
From the introduction to the Penguin Book of Horror Stories (1984), edited by J.A. Cuddon.
https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=5ZoNAQAAMAAJ
My vote is that it's a coincidence. But it is a notable one.
Medal because his jump was said to be "assisted by the wind."
From the book A Sense of Place
"Granadaland"
From the book A Sense of Place: regional British television drama, 1956-82, by Lez Cooke (Manchester University Press, 2012):
Bernstein, according to Cooke, regarded "Granadaland" as homogenous, but Cooke rightly observes that there were cultural differences across the region, and that even when Yorkshire TV took over the eastern part of the region from 1968, "Granadaland still embraced two large urban populations
"Granadaland"
From the book A Sense of Place: regional British television drama, 1956-82, by Lez Cooke (Manchester University Press, 2012):
Bernstein, according to Cooke, regarded "Granadaland" as homogenous, but Cooke rightly observes that there were cultural differences across the region, and that even when Yorkshire TV took over the eastern part of the region from 1968, "Granadaland still embraced two large urban populations
"Granadaland still embraced two large urban populations, in Manchester and Liverpool, with distinct cultural identities and strong local rivalries."
Cooke goes on,
Cooke then goes on to quote and discuss Tony Wilson defining the boundaries of the region in 2002. I won't quote all of that, but someone wanting to understand the meaning of "Granadaland" could do worse than read the book from p48:
https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=LhJQDwAAQBAJ&lpg=PA49&dq=%22GRANADALAND%22&pg=PA48#v=onepage&q&f=false
Talbot's arrest was over a decade after this song was written, and related to allegations about the 1970s and early 1980s. One of the problems, of course, is that victims of abuse (and those who knew it was happening) didn't necessarily talk about it openly.
‘from 1992–95 [Russell Grant] was a regular expert on This Morning with Richard and Judy offering astrological advice.’
He could more easily be described as ‘roll-poly’ than anybody mentioned & subjectively his hair-cut could also be described as’yak’.