The Ballard of J. Drummer

(1)

In year one-nine-nine-six-o-one (the last numeral was upside down)
Johnny Drummer came to the outskirts of town

People came out and shouted at him
Some people came out and shouted dead at him, "Say, show us your sticks."
Then they went back to their computer tricks

He'd hit a town with no life, to begin, where they forgot the facts
Two sticks make up a cross
Why is it always this way?
Why do they always have to say, "Hey, Johnny, get out of the way."

He looked in the mirror and said, "I am not him."
He stood outside a bar and raised the nerve to go in
The window hosted at least 45 men
Wondered which one was waiting for him
And the boy at the machine meant him no harm, but to him the boy was staring again at him
The rhythm over in his head again

Men, boys and girls!
Don't ever follow the path of being hard and tough when your heart is soft.  (2)

1. Here is one of the handful of curiosities that close out The Light User Syndrome, a cautionary tale about an outlaw who insists on using real drumsticks, defying the kids who love their 808s. Too late, Johnny decides he doesn't want to be a hero or a Messiah; unfortunately, the die has been cast, and there's no turning back. MES seems undecided whether the final confrontation invokes Calvary or the OK Corral; fortunately for everyone, the showdown (or crucifixion) takes place only in Johnny's feverishly nervous mind, and the kids carry on with their ersatz pleasures, not suspecting who walks among them.

One suspects the tale could be a humorous recasting of a real incident involving Karl Burns, or at just an extended jibe aimed at the latter; it may be no coincidence that Burns is credited with playing drums on the album, whereas the other drummer, Simon Wolstencroft, also has a "programming" credit. Burns outlasted Wolstencroft by a whisker in this seismic period of the Fall's career, but he soon joined the younger man under Boot Hill (neither was to be resurrected, so I'll stick with the Western motif).  

Robert, in the comments, speculates that the title alludes to J.G. Ballard, although there is no other evident connection... 

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2. Zack provides some quotes which make plausible the notion that this is about Fall drummer Karl Burns:

Look at the last line: "Don't ever follow the path of being hard and tough when your heart is soft." Fall Lore is full of similar statements about Karl Burns' bifurcated personality. John Leckie in the Wonderful and Frightening Omnibus Edition booklet: "Karl Burns was [...] a total animal. He was one of these real debauched characters, getting up to anything. [...] He was a lovely character, very sweet guy and he was up for it and everything." MES in Renegade: "[Karl] could be very nice but he could also be a bit of a bully [...]" Dave Bush in Simon Ford's Hip Priest: "Karl was an animal but he was funny."

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The Ballard of J. Drummer: Fall Tracks A-Z

The Story of the Fall: 1996