Kinder of Spine

Spider (1)
Why have I got spiders?
Dear spider
Hello spider
Help me spider
Happy glued to this one
Glows all red
One time I hurt my paw
In a warren
Under the duvet
It was grave
And I need it
One time I hurt my paw
In a warren
Under the duvet
I thought I might need it
Spider, spider help me
Help me, help me, help me
Red
Oh captain, captain (2)
Oh judge, judge
Of the
"Persecute Me" talent show  (3)
Spider
Spider
Day or night
How could I feel
With no day or night
How could I feel
And it cannot be real
So there
Happy, glued to some plant red
Help me
Green of the green of the bed of the breadcrumb (4)
Oh captain, captain
Of the
Judge, judge
Help me
Spiders
Why have I got them?

1. "Spider" was the working title of this song when it emerged in 2012, with a different riff and the horrifying line "Spider--liquefy me!" The current title is a pun on "Spider." The song is, partly, a take on the song "The Spider and the Fly" by the Moncles, the lyrics of which seem to have been inspired by the 1958 Vincent Price movie The Fly. The latter concerns a man who develops a transporter device, but when a fly gets into it they get mixed up and he emerges as a man with the head of a fly. We do not discover what happens to the head until the end, when it appears (suitably shrunk) on a fly trapped in a spider's web; mercifully, a police officer crushes the whole works with a rock. Price's last words in the movie are "Help me! Help me!" which makes it into the Moncles song and, subsequently, the Fall song above. The earlier Rolling Stones song of the same name (based on an 1829 poem by Mary Howitt [1799-1888]) has no apparent relation to the Monocles number; it is about seduction rather than horror, and in that sense the Fall song to some extent splits the difference between the two, as at times MES tries to communicate with the spider.

The music was written by Tim Presley, who plays on several songs on Re-Mit (this one and "No Respects/No Respects Rev."). He talks about the song in an interview with Bowlegs:

Bowlegs:Is there a train of thought you need to get into to create a White Fence record? Might Tim Presley record something and think “that’s not gonna fit a White Fence release”?

Tim: Not really. The only time that has happened was recently, when I recorded a song, and every time I tried to put vocals to it, it sounded like The Fall. So, I gave it to them instead, and I think it’s going to be on their new record. Mark is singing something about a spider on it.

Early live versions of the song featured markedly different musical accompaniment, so it is possible that MES transferred the lyrics to Presley's music when he was presented with the latter. 

As Dan points out, it is likely this is sung from the perspective of a cat.

From Becca:

A bit of a dark take, but I think this it simply describes methamphetamine psychosis. Spiders are a very common hallucination among those who have experienced it. May seem like a stretch to think he used methamphetamine, but his speed consumption was notoriously high and constant for decades. In an interview on the Independent in 2015, Mark is described as going on a "furious rant about new restrictions on the sale of over-the-counter cold cures."
Certain over the counter cold medicines around this time began to require prescriptions as the majority of them were bought up by meth labs. The cold medications made a crucial chemical for meth, pseudoephedrine, very accessible. This restriction had a massive impact on the production and accessibility of methamphetamine.

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2. In a 2013 interview with The Independent MES says of this line, "it's like miserable 19th-century novels where the captain's going down and all that.“ The line also brings to mind Walt Whitman's maudlin and much-anthologized poem about the death of Lincoln, "O Captain! My Captain!"

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3. See note i under More Information, below.

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4. There may be a dim reflection of with Howitt's poem in this line, as the spider there lures the fly into his bed by flattering her about her "brilliant eyes, and green and purple hue."

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Kinder of Spine: Fall Tracks A-Z

Thanks to Autolytic Enzyme for this transcription:

Clapham Grand. 17th May 2013.

Spider, spider, spider
I fucking hate you
Under the duvet
Judge me
Please judge me
I want to be judged
I want to be persecuted to the full extent of the law   (i)
I am your normal man
Spider, spider
Judge me
Judge me
I am from Preston precinct
I am a complete fucking mong
I want to be judged by everyone
Spider, spider
Hurt me 
How can I be persecuted to the full Nazi extent
Under the duvet, under the mattress
Under
One day I was (garbled)
In the back garden of Primal Scream
(garbled) fucking stone cunt
Spider, spider

i. Note that the common phrase is "prosecuted to the full extent of the law." SS notes that the phrase appears in this form on Firesign Theatre's Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers. MES quotes Firesign on "Loadstones," which seems to me to make the connection here more likely.

MES uses this phrase--in the partial form "persecuted to the fullest extent!"--in Jetplane.

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