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The Annotated Lyrics
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- Bug Day
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- Copped It
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- Dead Beat Descendant
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- Disney's Dream Debased
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- Don't Take the Pizza
- Dr. Bucks' Letter
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- Early Days of Channel Führer
- Eat Y'Self Fitter
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- Elves
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- Entitled
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- Exploding Chimney
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- Flat of Angles
- Fol de Rol
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- Frenz
- Frightened
- Futures and Pasts
- Garden New
- Gentlemen's Agreement
- Get a Hotel
- Get A Summer Song Goin'
- Gibbus Gibson
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- God Box
- Gramme Friday
- Green Eyed Loco Man
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- Gross Chapel-British Grenadier
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- Guest Informant
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- Gut of the Quantifier
- H.O.W.
- Haf Found Bormann
- Hands Up Billy
- Happi Song
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- He Talks
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- Hey! Marc Riley
- Hey! Student
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- Hilary
- Hip Priest
- Hit the North
- Hittite Man
- Hollow Mind
- Hostile
- Hot Aftershave Bop
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- How I Wrote Elastic Man
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- I Am Damo Suzuki
- I Come and Stand At Your Door
- I Feel Voxish
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- I'm Frank
- I'm Into C.B.
- I've Been Duped
- I've Seen Them Come
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- Ivanhoe's Two Pence
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- Janet, Johnny + James
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- Jazzed Up Punk Shit
- Jetplane
- Jim's "The Fall"
- Job Search
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- Married, Two Kids
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- Mess of My
- Mexico Wax Solvent
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- My Condition
- My Door Is Never
- My Ex-Classmates' Kids
- My New House
- Nate Will Not Return
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- New Facts Emerge
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- No Bulbs
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- No X-mas for John Quays
- Noel's Chemical Effluence
- Noise
- North West Fashion Show
- O! ZZTRRK Man
- O.F.Y.C. Showcase
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- Oh! Brother
- Ol' Gang
- Oleano
- On My Own
- One Day
- Open The Boxoctosis
- Oswald Defence Lawyer
- Over! Over!
- Overture From "I Am Curious, O
- Oxymoron
- Pacifying Joint
- Paintwork
- Papal Visit
- Paranoia Man/Cheap Sh*t Room
- Pat-Trip Dispenser
- Pay Your Rates
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- Perverted by Language
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- Pre-MDMA Years
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- Psykick Dancehall #2
- Pumpkin Head Xscapes
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- Quit iPhone
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- Rememberance R
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- Reprise: Jane--Prof Mick--Ey B
- Return
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- Systematic Abuse
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- The Acute
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- The Ballard of J. Drummer
- The Book of Lies
- The Boss
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- The Coliseum
- The Container Drivers
- The Crying Marshal
- The Joke
- The Knight, the Devil and Deat
- The League of Bald-Headed Men
- The Littlest Rebel
- The Man Whose Head Expanded
- The Mixer
- The N.W.R.A.
- The Past #2
- The Quartet of Doc Shanley
- The REAL Life of the Crying Ma
- The Reckoning
- The Remainderer
- The Steak Place
- The Usher
- The War Against Intelligence
- The Wright Stuff
- Theme From Error-Orrori
- Theme From Sparta F.C.
- Time Enough At Last
- To Nk Roachment: Yarbles
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- Totally Wired
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- Two Librans
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- U.S. 80s-90s
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- Unutterable
- Van Plague?
- Various Times
- Venice With The Girls
- Victoria Train Station Massacr
- Victrola Time
- Vixen
- W.B.
- W.M.C.--Blob 59
- Way Round
- Weather Report 2
- What About Us?
- What You Need
- Where's the F***in Taxi? C**t
- Whizz Bang
- Who Makes the Nazis?
- Win Fall CD 2088 AD
- Wings
- Winter (Hostel-Maxi)
- Wise Ol' Man
- Wolf Kidult Man
- Words of Expectation
- Wrong Place, Right Time
- Xmas With Simon
- Y.F.O.C./Slippy Floor
- Yes O Yes
- You Don't Turn Me On
- You Haven't Found It Yet
- You're Not Up To Much
- Your Heart Out
- Youwanner
- Zagreb
- Zandra
-
Arranged By Album
- Live at the Witch Trials
- Dragnet
- Grotesque (After the Gramme)
- Slates
- Hex Enduction Hour
- Room to Live
- Perverted by Language
- The Wonderful and Frightening World of the Fall
- This Nation's Saving Grace
- Bend Sinister
- The Frenz Experiment
- I Am Kurious, Oranj
- Extricate
- Shift-Work
- Code:Selfish
- The Infotainment Scan
- Middle Class Revolt
- Cerebral Caustic
- Light User Syndrome
- Levitate
- The Marshall Suite
- The Unutterable
- Are You Are Missing Winner
- The Real New Fall LP (Formerly Country on the Click)
- Fall Heads Roll
- Reformation Post TLC
- Imperial Wax Solvent
- Your Future Our Clutter
- Ersatz G.B.
- Re-Mit
- The Remainderer
- Sub-Lingual Tablet
- Wise Ol' Man
- New Facts Emerge
- 2014
- O! ZZTRRK Man
- New Facts Emerge
- Segue
- Ponto
- Smith and Mark
- Afternoon Disco
- Reece Stick
- Home /
- The Annotated Lyrics /
- Jetplane
Jetplane
Lyrics
Diane Worstock and Dr. Jeffery Henning,
first came up with their innovative new idea,
whilst standing in an airline queue, of all places.
(On the Milan to London flight on a cold Italian...their London flight had been delayed by two hours)
Standing in the queue, who would've thought that
this innovative new idea would've occured to them,
(all their vacation Italian vouchers...)
ticket number was obliterated.
It occured to them, standing in an airline queue,
for the Milan to London flight on a cold Italian Saturday afternoon;
(Viennese summer...)
the Italians certainly like their Sundays.And to make matters worse,
some sort of Rock group was holding up things also,
they were bringing elbows and euros into Heathrow. (1)
( When you hear planes whoooosh..)
Eleni (interspersed):
the world's small now
but along I schlep
no vistas at night
followed him...
This was when the great idea was beginning to dawn on them,
to the Italian extreme cold or heat; (2)
Anyway, Diane with the cooperation of Dr. Dave opened a bureau which not only tattoed your return number to Heathrow on your arm,
but also squeaks if you are carrying more euros into Heathrow. (3)
(Suddenly, certainly, sullenly...) (4)
And people who had cash, bringing it back, would be persecuted to the fullest extent! (5)
Worstock and Henning Ltd.
(Suddenly, certainly, sullenly...)
(Le vol de Milan à Heathrow a été retardé
Des formes de rap ... mouchoire en papier d'argent) (6)
Notes
1. This may be a humorously self-deprecating reference to The Fall. Alternativelty, the word "elbows" (which is just possibly the more obvious "albums," but really sounds more like the former) may perhaps be a hint that the English group Elbow is holding things up for Worstock and Henning. Heathrow is the London airport.
2. Milan does indeed get fairly cold in the winter and hot in the summer, although in neither case would this be "extreme" by comparison with a good many places. It is less temperate than Manchester, however; in Milan, the average high temperature in July is 84 degrees (29 C) vs. 68 (20) in Manchester, whereas Milan averages a low of around 38 (5) in December, about the same as Manchester. However, if we look at the record highs and lows, Milan's deviate further from the average than those of Machester, so it is conceivable that a visiting Englishman would experice temperatures that seem extreme in comparison to those in northern England. It is an odd line in any case; one would think the heat was either extemely hot or cold, and that there wouldn't be much doubt about which, and we were told earlier it was cold on the day in question. It isn't clear what relevance the temperature has to the "obliteration" of ticket numbers. In general this is a faux-ordinary tale; none of it makes any sense but it is told in a matter-of-fact way such that the effect is a certain spurious realism. The story is surreal but not fantastic; perhaps we could say that it is pseudo-mundane.
3. Several listeners have heard "tweets" here, but I am pretty sure the word begins with 's.' Maybe he says "squeets."
The invaluable dannyno at the Fall online forum has unearthed the follwing tidbit from the Sunday Times of Sept. 14, 2008:
Air New Zealand is recruiting "follicly challenged" travellers to advertise a new system intended to reduce check-in times. Fifty volunteers will have a temporary tattoo, lasting about two weeks, inscribed on the back of their heads for a payment of £380 per capita. The airline's marketing manager, Steve Bayliss, said: "How better to tell our customers that Air New Zealand is going to do something about [long check-in queues]... than through messaging they can read while they're standing in a queue themselves?" In a move to defuse any charges of sexism, the carrier made it clear that female baldies are also welcome.
Reader Ray weighs in with a perspicacious comment:
"It would seem to me that this song warns of the ensuing drive by powers-that-be to institute a cashless society (for example, see http://www.theguardian.com/money/commentisfree/2016/mar/21/fear-cashless-world-contactless); it is perhaps notable that it appears on the same EP as 'Hittite Man,' another comment on financial means of manifesting social control (in that case, via debt).
I write this in the midst of a concerted anti-cash advertising drive on the part of Paypal, and those offering 'convenient' contactless payment services."
The version of "Jetplane" from Live: Uurop VIII-XII and Places in Sun & Winter, Son has the tattoo on the back of passengers' necks.
4. Recently leaked demos and/or outtakes include a track entitled "Suddenly, Certainly." Musically this is quite different from "Jetplane," but the vocal portion consists of the above refrain, with the same melody. It seems to be the kernel of a song idea which was subsumed by "Jetplane." Thanks to Zack for reminding me of this.
5. The stock phrase is, of course, "prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law." MES's version previously appeared in identical form in the sleeve notes to Perverted by Language: "Badge and shirtmakers not reporting to this man ... will be persecuted to the fullest extent."
He uses the same phrase in at least one live version of Kinder of Spine.
SS notes that the phrase appears in this form on Firesign Theatre's Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers. MES quotes Firesign on "Loadstones," which seems to me to make the connection here more likely.
6. Translated (thanks to Maldoror): The Milan to London flight has been delayed. Types of rap ... tin foil handkerchief.
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Comments (18)
I write this in the midst of a concerted anti-cash advertising drive on the part of Paypal, and those offering "convenient" contactless payment services.
The Sunday Times is editorially distinct from the Times, and there is no such paper as the London Times. So the note should read (correcting also the typo "follwing"):
"The invaluable dannyno at the Fall online forum has unearthed the following tidbit from the Sunday Times of Sept. 14, 2008" .
(English translation in brackets below)
"Le vol de Milan à Heathrow a été retardé"
(The Milan to London flight has been delayed)
"Des formes de rap ... mouchoire en papier d'argent"
(Types of rap ... tin foil handkerchief)
To me, they contribute to the slightly off-kilter airport setting, and further the theme of overheard/misheard announcements and conversations. Similar to "Bonkers in Phoenix" in that respect. Stuck and alienated in a "non-place" while some form of excitement happens at a spatial distance (indie-band gig for "Bonkers", planes overhead for "Jetplane").
Also, I'd agree with Mike E Hardy (above) that Eleni's line is:
"The world is small now
but along I schlep.
No vistas at night."
https://sites.google.com/site/reformationposttpm/pithy-smithyisms/in-the-2010s
Margaret Rutherford was an well known English character actress. And one of the films she was in was, which could possibly be behind Smith's comment, was "The Runaway Bus".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Runaway_Bus
Perhaps there are clues to the lyrics in the film?
10th May 2013 – East Village Arts Club, Liverpool: "Jeanette Sanders" came up with "the idea".
[pre-cog here concerning this name and planes?: lookee here: http://www.traveltalkmag.com.au/skytalk/plane-parts-fall-from-the-sky-in-california]
There seem to be various Jeanette Sanders in the world, but at least one of them is an actress, just like Margaret Rutherford.
12th May 2013 – Trades Club, Hebden Bridge: "Diane Worstock from the small town of Haslingden came up with this marvellous idea..."
(The Lancashire town of Haslingden also featured in English Scheme.)
Diane Worstock and Dr. Jeffery Henning
[and Dr Jeffrey Henning]
first came up with their innovative new idea
[first came up with their innovative new idea]
while standing in an airline queue of all places
[while standing in an air- for the Milan-London flight on a cold Italian]
Standing in the queue
[Their London flight had been delayed]
who would've thought
[by two hours]
that this innovative new idea would've occurred to them
[After all they’d used all their vacation Italian vouchers, 25% gratis]
The ticket number was obliterated
[Getting to the front of the queue at last]
It occurred to them
[They discovered]
Standing in an airline queue
[They couldn’t read their tickets]
for the Milan to London flight
[they were fadied in the cold hot…Italian]
on a cold Italian Saturday afternoon
[Viennese summer, winter Florentine]
The Italians certainly like their Sundays
And to make matters worse,
Some sort of Rock group was holding up things also
they were bringing elbows and Euros
[When you hear planes whoooosh]
Into Heathrow
This was when the great idea was beginning to dawn on them
The world's small now
To the Italian
But along I schlep
Extreme cold or heat
No vistas at night
The foliage…
Anyway, Diane with the cooperation of Dr. Dave
opened a bureau
Pour moi ????
which not only tattoed
All out of my control
Your return number to Heathrow on your arm
Fox, ????
but also squeaks if you are carrying more euros into Heathrow.
The world's small now
And people who had cash, bringing it back, would be persecuted to the fullest extent!
The world's small now
Worstock and Henning Ltd.
Eleni's line beginning Fox at 2:03 is a throwback to Jungle Rock
Fox grabs lap[ine], does the bunny hug