Solicitor in Studio

Lyrics

Young dicks make TV
Get 'em away from me
Young dicks make TV
Loads of hair-style ideals
Here's the other end of the tale
Here's the other end of the scale

Law expert makes studio
He had waited so long
Patrick Moore (1) got a manifesto
He learned the words
Vid king and spontaneous
He learned the words
Analysis and through video

Solicitor in studio
If he got it right
Could be a celebrity
Like M. Pyke (2)

Scientists and their bloody childish reading habits 
Scientists and their bloody childish reading habits  (3)

 

But solicitor in studio
Soon ran into trouble

 

From the start, trouble with the mic
Noises and high pitched whines
Aggressive interviewer much too fast
Then up came Beaumont-Dark (4)
Ripped his argument to shreds

Solicitor in studio
Soon ran into trouble

He inadvertently proved the point
That his profession was rot
He inadvertently proved the point
That his profession was shh shh shh

Solicitor in studio
Soon ran into trouble

Young dicks make TV
Get 'em away from me
Young dicks make TV
Get 'em away from me
Young and old dicks make TV
Young and old dicks make TV
Solicitor in studio soon ran into trouble

Notes

1. Patrick Moore was an astronomer who often appeared in the media, especially as the host of the BBC program The Sky at Night. ^

2. Magnus Pyke was another British scientist who regularly appeared on television. ^

3. Dr. X O'Skeleton says "Many scientists love Lewis Carroll. For instance, Alice in Wonderland features heavily in Douglas Hofstadter's Godel, Escher, Bach, a book about artificial intelligence."

This seems true to me, although the only other examples I can think of are as follows: Martin Gardner, the famous science writer, also annotated Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass (no library should be without his annotated versions!). And, the "Red Queen Hypothesis," proposed by Leigh Van Valen, is the theory that organisms must continually adapt in order to survive (i.e. not in order to attract more mates to gain a survival advantage over other organisms, but to stay around at all--Carroll's Red Queen says "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place").

^

 

4. Sir Anthony Beaumont-Dark was an member of parliament who also had a high media profile. He was nicknamed "the king of the rent-a-quote" for his penchant for witty and provocative one-liners; like Moore and Pyke, he was not a member of the bar.    ^

Comments (18)

dannyno
  • 1. dannyno | 04/06/2013
"Patrick Moore got a manifesto"

Worth noting that Moore was also politically right wing on many issues (not in a traditional conservative sense).

Moore was a co-founder of the United Country Party, which along with the Keep Britain United Party (anti-Welsh devolution) amalgamated in September 1980 with the New Britain Party.

Hence his manifesto, I guess.

Beaumont-Dark obituary:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/1514720/Sir-Anthony-Beaumont-Dark.html
dannyno
  • 2. dannyno | 26/08/2013
Bit more on this.

The way I'm now understanding this song, I think the party political angle is mistaken,

High in the bestseller lists in March 1982, which is also when this song debuted live, was a book called "Bureaucrats: how to annoy them" by "R.T. Fishall" - a pseudonym used by Patrick Moore. The book includes an anti-bureaucrat manifesto.

So I now think that the unfortunate solicitor was probably supposed to speak against the book. I can see Beaumont-Dark being on Moore's side - which he wouldn't, as a Tory Party MP, have been if the discussion were about party politics.

So it remains to identity the solicitor and the news programme he appeared on.

Dan
dannyno
  • 3. dannyno | 26/08/2013
See: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2254467/How-drive-jobsworths-potty-IN-devilishly-inventive-manifesto-late-astronomer-Sir-Patrick-Moore-tells-fought-box-ticking-bullies.html
FoxyDread
  • 4. FoxyDread | 02/10/2013
it's worth noting that Magnus Pyke was probably the first tv presenter to make an angle and prolong his career through eccentricity. A tactic used by many presenters since.
Joseph Mullaney
  • 5. Joseph Mullaney | 14/05/2014
Some lyrics missing from the end:

Young dicks make TV
Get 'em away from me
Young dicks make TV
Get 'em away from me

Young and old dicks make TV
Young and old dicks make TV

Solicitor in studio soon ran into trouble
dannyno
  • 6. dannyno | 24/05/2014
"trouble with the mike", not "trouble with mike"

"high pitched whines", not "high pitched wines"

After "ripped his argument to shreds", the repeated chorus is:

"Solicitor in studio soon ran into trouble", i.e. not "who"

and there's a missing line from this bit:

"He inadvertently proved the point
That his profession was rot

Shh Shh Shh"

It should be:

"He inadvertently proved the point
That his profession was rot
He inadvertently proved the point
That his profession was shh shh shh"

Shh presumably masking "shit" or "shite".

After that, the repeated chorus is:

"Solicitor in studio soon ran into trouble" again, not "who soon"
Martin
  • 7. Martin | 06/04/2016
It's worth mentioning, with reference to Dannyno's comment above (no.2) that the first live performance of the song (Bristol, 12 March 1982) already namechecked both Patrick Moore and M.Pyke, so we're looking for television programmes before this date.
Lloyd
  • 8. Lloyd | 19/03/2017
I agree that the reference to Patrick Moore and his manifesto was because of his right wing leanings. I went one step further and heard "vid king" as a strange pronunciation of "Viking" (e.g. The SS Viking division), but I dare say that's nonsense.
dannyno
  • 9. dannyno | 19/03/2017
"vid" is definitely video. I read an MES interview recently where he says this explicitly.... <goes off to find it>
dannyno
  • 10. dannyno | 20/03/2017
[comment #9]: it's in the "What You Need" annotated page: http://thefall.org/news/000326.html


BE: On "What You Need" you say a "bit" of Iggy's Stooge, is that right?

MS: A vid, a video.
bzfgt
  • 11. bzfgt (link) | 23/03/2017
Was there doubt that "vid" means "video"?
dannyno
  • 12. dannyno | 23/03/2017
Comment #8?
bzfgt
  • 13. bzfgt (link) | 01/04/2017
Oh, I see. Well, he did dare to say it was nonsense...
Dr X O' Skeleton
  • 14. Dr X O' Skeleton | 03/11/2017
I always heard this lyric as "Solicitor in studio, serenity trouble/troubled"
Dr X O' Skeleton
  • 15. Dr X O' Skeleton | 03/11/2017
"Scientists and their bloody childish reading habits"
Many scientists love Lewis Carroll. For instance, it Alice in Wonderland features heavily in Douglas Hofstadter's Godel, Escher, Bach, a book about artificial intelligence
dannyno
  • 16. dannyno | 04/11/2017
Comment #15. I like that. G.E.B. was published in 1979, so it fits chronologically. I've spent ages trying to find some other clue, but have failed so far.
bzfgt
  • 17. bzfgt (link) | 11/11/2017
No horns on this song, but it is the kind of song that would have them, and one of the guitars sounds like baritone saxes or something...I think Riley.
bzfgt
  • 18. bzfgt (link) | 11/11/2017
It could be, but some times through "soon" seems distinct, and the Orange Lyrics book has "soon" and no sign of "serenity."

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