Australians in Europe
Lyrics
MES: So what if it goes all right, er, say... say it works out real good, would you be up to doing something, say, around like March, April? We could get it... I'd like to take it around to Liverpool, Manchester and places like that, y'know. Trevor Stuart: Yeah, you can have me until April the 20th. MES: Yeah, you got work on from there? TS: Yeah, going to Australia to do a show. MES: Right, OK. ? (2)
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Never ever breathe
Australians in Europe
Get a whiff of that antipodean breeze (3)
Australians in Europe
Higher!
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Think, "Why did Great Grandad leave?"
Australians in Europe never ever see
He was consigned to a boat after using a huge great cleaver. (4)
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe?
Never, ever...
...breathe
Australians in Europe
The biggest things invented I have ever seen (5)
Their cover versions are naff and they live in Berlin (6)
You're like a Van Gogh savage, McGregor's kilt, (7)
With no chin
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe?
Australians in Europe?
Australians in Europe?
Wake up and suss the scene
You'd better leave them parents, and fly Hamburg to Berlin
They're just a bloody twister, so who do you think your foolin' (8)
Australians in Europe
Notes
From the booklet to the 2019 Beggars Banquet reissue of Bend Sinister: "TREVOR STUART: I'm at the start of "Australians in Europe." That was after the so-called success of the piece; he used to come in every night and have a chat with the two actors, because he used to like being with the actors more than the band. He asked me if I'd want to tour to Manchester and Liverpool: I told him I couldn't because I had to go to Australia. Unbeknownst to me, he recorded me and played it - I thought it was hilarious."
The Northerns in Europ version, on the 12" single, begins with a snatch of lyric from Oran "Juice" Jones' song The Rain from his 1986 album Juice. Seems like it was recorded off TV or radio or indeed from a record.
This is my world ...you're just a squirrel trying to get a nut.
2. The song begins with MES talking with Trevor Stuart, who played Luciani/John Paul I in MES's stage play, "Hey Luciani" (thanks to Reformation for this information).
3. Antipodes are any two places on earth exactly opposite to each other on the globe (i.e., if one were to bore straight through the earth from one, one would wind up at the other). This is roughly true of England and Australia and New Zealand, so these are often referred to as "the antipodes" in England (the actual antipode of England is located somewhat south of New Zealand).
4. From 1780 to 1848, Great Britain transported prisoners to Australia, particularly to New South Wales which was established as a penal colony.
"We Australians are very proud of our big things eg Big Pineapple, Big Sheep, Big Lobster, Big Ned Kelly. They usually have gift shops attached. I personally climbed to the top of the Big Pineapple in the 70's (for you Brits a pineapple is what you would refer to as an 'aubergine,' not to be confused with a 'courgette' which of course is a watermelon.)"
Now that's weird--an aubergine is an eggplant. I have not been able to confirm this, but Rich ought to know (unless he's mistaken about what an "aubergine" is).
6. jensotto: "Nick Cave moved to Berlin and the Bad Seeds stayed there 1985-89. The Triffids [an Australian band] were also playing in Europe in the same period." Cave released Kicking Against the Pricks, an album of cover versions, in 1986, a year before this song first appeared (thanks to Portsmouth Bubblejet).
7. This seems to refer to a tartan, or quilt pattern, worn by the Scottish Macgregor clan, and thus is maybe a dig at loud, colorful clothing, perhaps where the colors clash. This perhaps even explains "Van Gogh savage": From a catalog entry from the Metropolitan Museum of Art, concerning Van Gogh's painting The Zoave: "In the oil painting, Van Gogh heightened the 'savage combination of incongruous tones,' fleshed out the character's likeness, and placed him in a convincing setting." The quote within that quote is from a letter to Van Gogh's brother Theo. I recognize this is a stretch.
8. Joseph has called it to my attention that "twister" can mean a crook or villain in British slang, although it is an old usage. See also "Twister."
More Information
Comments (67)

- 1. | 20/03/2014

- 2. | 22/02/2016
We Australians are very proud of our big things eg Big Pineapple, Big Sheep, Big Lobster, Big Ned Kelly. They usually have gift shops attached. I personally climbed to the top of the Big Pineapple in the 70's (for you Brits a pineapple is what you would refer to as an 'aubergine,' not to be confused with a 'courgette' which of course is a watermelon.)

- 3. | 20/07/2016
[inaudible]
MES: So what if it goes all right, er, say... say it works out real good, would you be up to doing something, say, around like March, April? We could get it... I'd like to take it round to Liverpool, Manchester and places like that, y'know.
TS: Yeah, you can have me until April the 20th.
MES: Yeah, you got work on from there?
Trev: Yeah, going to Australia to do a show.
MES: Right, OK.

- 4. | 23/07/2016
It initially said:
Conversation with Ham A. Circa: Post House Motel.
I looked at that and thought, what the hell is that? I checked the lyrics books and there is no text for this song. Then I thought to check the Lyrics Parade and sure enough, that phrase is there.
I don't know if I ever knew why it was there--there is a good chance I just copied and pasted this from the LP. Does anyone know what the hell that is?

- 6. | 13/12/2017
I also think the "biggest things rejected" line later on is actually "biggest things invented" It's to do with the size of things in Australia, the vast distances, huge indigenous spiders etc.
I also think the line later on is "biggest things invented rather

- 7. | 23/12/2017
Does anyone else want to give it a go and see if we get some kind of consensus--"th," "d," or "indiscernible/undecidable"? No lyrics book version on this one, by the way.
With "rejected," to me it seems very clear he says "invented," so I am changing that unless anyone objects.

- 8. | 23/12/2017
Do we know who wrote/edited it? Is there a version where one can see what it says under "Australians in Europe" or discern the "Ham" line? I get nothing useful from Google.

- 9. | 23/12/2017

- 10. | 29/12/2017

- 11. | 06/01/2018

- 12. | 10/02/2018

- 13. | 18/02/2018
I also don't hear the word 'McGregor' at all in the following, in either version, and originally had the last bit of that line as a garbled reference to the popular at the time Australian soap opera Neighbours: "You're like a Van Gogh savage (?) and preggers, Gail, with no sh*t'.

- 14. | 19/02/2018

- 15. | 19/02/2018

- 16. | 19/02/2018
There was a plotline in 'Neighbours' in the late 1980s about a character called Gail Robinson who was unable to conceive, and 'preggers' is an Australian word for 'pregnant'.

- 17. | 20/02/2018

- 18. | 21/02/2018
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Never ever breathe
Australians in Europe
Get a whiff of that Antipodean breeze
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Higher!
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Think why did great-grandad leave
Australians in Europe
Never ever see
That he was consigned to a boat after using a huge great cleaver
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe!
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Never ever…
(Brix) Australians In Europe
(Voice of Trevor Stuart low in mix)
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
(MES) Breathe…
Australians in Europe
You’re the biggest (?- in the Peel version it's `fools')
I have ever seen
Your cover versions are naff
And you live in Berlin
You’re like a (Van Gogh) (?)
You make preggers Gail, with no chin
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe!
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Wake up and suss the scene
You’d better leave them parents
And fly Hamburg to Berlin
You’re just a bloody twister
So who do you think you’re foolin’
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe!
Australians in Europe!
Additional lines in Peel version:
You’d better get a lesson before you turn into a Dutchman
[… ] to New Zealand

- 19. | 21/02/2018

- 20. | 21/02/2018
RichWe Australians are very proud of our big things eg Big Pineapple, Big Sheep, Big Lobster, Big Ned Kelly. They usually have gift shops attached. I personally climbed to the top of the Big Pineapple in the 70's (for you Brits a pineapple is what you would refer to as an 'aubergine,' not to be confused with a 'courgette' which of course is a watermelon.)
That's definitively hilarious nonsense of the kind that I worry people take seriously!

- 21. | 24/02/2018

- 22. | 24/02/2018
I thought it was "granddad," as in grand dad, but Google says British English prefers "grandad," as in gran dad, I guess...

- 23. | 24/02/2018

- 24. | 24/02/2018

- 25. | 24/02/2018

- 26. | 24/02/2018

- 27. | 24/02/2018

- 28. | 24/02/2018

- 29. | 24/02/2018
I think this is pretty "accurate!" now.

- 30. | 24/02/2018

- 31. | 24/02/2018
https://genius.com/Dag-savage-van-gogh-lyrics
https://www.amazon.com/Hey-Van-Gogh-Elizabeth-Bonzo-Savage/dp/B005B3HK22

- 32. | 24/02/2018
Two days into his campaign, he announced to Theo: "I have a model at last—a Zouave—a boy with a small face, a bull neck, and the eye of the tiger." The present work served as a color study for his bust-length portrait of the dashing young soldier. In the oil painting, Van Gogh heightened the "savage combination of incongruous tones," fleshed out the character's likeness, and placed him in a convincing setting.
I assume the second quote is still Van Gogh himself. A stretch, but just maybe a reference to the colors of the kilt. I know, very unlikely
Note if we were doing The Annotated Survivor, we'd really have something though:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btPJPFnesV4

- 33. | 24/02/2018

- 34. | 24/02/2018

- 35. | 24/02/2018
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a4/dd/bc/a4ddbcf26c329d309a4b37a2731607da.jpg

- 36. | 24/02/2018

- 37. | 24/02/2018

- 38. | 26/02/2018
Also sure it's not 'invented'. It sounds more like 'affected' but without being able to make out the previous word, it's hard to say.

- 39. | 26/02/2018

- 40. | 26/02/2018

- 41. | 04/03/2018

- 42. | 04/03/2018
Australians in Europe
The biggest things invented I have ever seen
Their cover versions are naff and they live in Berlin
Your like a Van Gogh savage, McGregor's kilt,
With no chin
Ooh dear, I'm not sure any of the variant readings is right.

- 43. | 10/03/2018

- 44. | 10/03/2018

- 45. | 10/03/2018

- 46. | 10/03/2018

- 47. | 07/04/2018
Wikipedia tells me;
"Early in 1986, Brian's Australian cousin, Ian Latimer (Michael Loney) visits and stays with Ivy. Soon he and Gail are having an affair. Gail admits this to Brian on learning that she is pregnant and doesn't know who is the father. "
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gail_McIntyre
"You'd better leave them parents" sounds more like "you believe in Paris" to me

- 48. | 22/04/2018

- 49. | 15/03/2019
TREVOR STUART: I'm at the start of Australians in Europe. That was after the so-called success of the piece; he used to come in every night and have a chat with the two actors, because he used to like being with the actors more than the band. He asked me if I'd want to tour to Manchester and Liverpool: I told him I couldn't because I had to go to Australia. Unbeknownst to me, he recorded me and played it - I thought it was hilarious.

- 50. | 27/04/2019

- 51. | 09/05/2019

- 52. | 09/05/2019
"Think, "Why did Great Grandad leave?"
Australians in Europe never ever see
He was consigned to a boat after using a huge great cleaver."
For what it's worth, since the lines need not be literal, Nick Cave was asked in an interview about convict ancestors:
Disappointingly, he can’t point to a single transported convict among his ancestors: “Unfortunately not. My grandfather was German and my grandmother was English. All Australians want a convict past these days. But I don’t have one.”
Source:n https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/film/nick-cave-as-long-as-i-can-remember-i-ve-had-a-pre-disposition-toward-violent-thought-1.1933812
[Archive]

- 53. | 01/11/2019
Can't remember where I read it but apparently MES was very much looking forward to meeting SM but MES got so plastered that most of the interview is NC and SM enjoying each others' company and taking the piss out of MES for not being able to make himself intelligible or comprehensible. As a result 2 things happened: NC and SM recorded "It's a Wonderful World" and a couple of other collaborations; and MES poured his dislike of NC into this track.
Evidence largely in the much-noted "your cover versions are crap and you live in Berlin" (Kicking Against the Pricks), the 'no chin' comment (which, check out Mr Cave's profile next time you see him) and "You're just a bloody twister so who do you think you're fooling" which 'twister' is Manchester slang for a junkie (twisting the spike), and his ongoing use of heroin was certainly in effect at the time, and contrasted with Mr Cave's erudition/ambition/whatnot.
Thoughts about the "Van Gogh" line - I always imagined it was "a mad dog yappin'" - which could be a reference to Mad Dog Morgan, in which Dennis Hopper stars as an mad bushranger in the Outback.
Hope this helps a bit.

- 54. | 01/11/2019

- 55. | 09/11/2019

- 56. | 09/11/2019
The reason you can't find any evidence that the article was published in 1987 is that it wasn't. The Smith/Cave/Macgowan summit was published in the NME of 25 February 1989.
Obviously it therefore cannot be the source of any lyrics prior to that date.
Here's the cover, to prove it:


- 57. | 06/03/2020
Jem suggests the infamous "summit" between MES, Cave, and Shane MacGowan has to do with the origins of this song (and also "Twister"). A transcript can be found at The Quietus; it cannot be saved in the Wayback Machine, for some reason, but see comment 53 below.
While there might be echoes, as I point out in comment #56 the interview post-dates this lyric.

- 58. | 04/08/2020
This is my world ...you're just a squirrel trying to get a nut.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rain_(Oran_%22Juice%22_Jones_song)
In the UK, it first charted on 1 November 1986, highest position #4:
https://www.officialcharts.com/search/singles/the-rain/.
Hit the North was released in October 1987, nearly a year later.

- 59. | 13/04/2021

- 60. | 17/04/2021

- 61. | 21/04/2021
Jem suggests the infamous "summit" between MES, Cave, and Shane MacGowan has to do with the origins of this song (and also "Twister"). A transcript can be found at The Quietus; it cannot be saved in the Wayback Machine, for some reason, but see comment 53 below.
But as I point out in comment #56, the "summit" was published in NME, 25 February 1989.
This song's first documented performance was in April 1987.
It was broadcast on a Peel Session in May 1987.
It was first released on the Hit the North single in October 1987.
In fact, the group had stopped playing it by December 1988.
I submit that the "summit" therefore cannot have anything to do with the origins of this song.

- 62. | 24/04/2021

- 63. | 27/04/2021

- 64. | 27/04/2021

- 65. | 01/05/2021
The rest of it seems tongue in cheek as was my inclusion, as you say.


- 67. | 19/10/2022
"Right, OK. ?" at the beginning shouldn't have a question mark after it either!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andiron