Australians in Europe

Lyrics

MES: So what if it goes all right, er, say... say it works out real good, would you be up to doing something, say, around like March, April? We could get it... I'd like to take it around to Liverpool, Manchester and places like that, y'know. Trevor Stuart: Yeah, you can have me until April the 20th. MES: Yeah, you got work on from there? TS: Yeah, going to Australia to do a show. MES: Right, OK. (2)

Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe

Australians in Europe
Never ever breathe
Australians in Europe
Get a whiff of that antipodean breeze (3)
Australians in Europe
Higher!

Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Think, "Why did Great Grandad leave?"
Australians in Europe never ever see
He was consigned to a boat after using a huge great cleaver. (4)

Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Never, ever...

...breathe

Australians in Europe
The biggest things invented I have ever seen (5)
Their cover versions are naff and they live in Berlin (6)
Your like a Van Gogh savage, McGregor's kilt, (7)
With no chin

Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe

Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Wake up and suss the scene
You'd better leave them parents, and fly Hamburg to Berlin
They're just a bloody twister, so who do you think your foolin' (8)
Australians in Europe

Notes

1. Dan submits:

From the booklet to the 2019 Beggars Banquet reissue of Bend Sinister: "TREVOR STUART: I'm at the start of "Australians in Europe." That was after the so-called success of the piece; he used to come in every night and have a chat with the two actors, because he used to like being with the actors more than the band. He asked me if I'd want to tour to Manchester and Liverpool: I told him I couldn't because I had to go to Australia. Unbeknownst to me, he recorded me and played it - I thought it was hilarious."

The Northerns in Europ version, on the 12" single, begins with a snatch of lyric from Oran "Juice" Jones' song The Rain from his 1986 album Juice. Seems like it was recorded off TV or radio or indeed from a record.

This is my world ...you're just a squirrel trying to get a nut.

2. The song begins with MES talking with Trevor Stuart, who played Luciani/John Paul I in MES's stage play, "Hey Luciani" (thanks to Reformation for this information).

3. Antipodes are any two places on earth exactly opposite to each other on the globe (i.e., if one were to bore straight through the earth from one, one would wind up at the other). This is roughly true of England and Australia and New Zealand, so these are often referred to as "the antipodes" in England (the actual antipode of England is located somewhat south of New Zealand).

4. From 1780 to 1848, Great Britain transported prisoners to Australia, particularly to New South Wales which was established as a penal colony.

5. According to Rich:

"We Australians are very proud of our big things eg Big Pineapple, Big Sheep, Big Lobster, Big Ned Kelly. They usually have gift shops attached. I personally climbed to the top of the Big Pineapple in the 70's (for you Brits a pineapple is what you would refer to as an 'aubergine,' not to be confused with a 'courgette' which of course is a watermelon.)"

Now that's weird--an aubergine is an eggplant. I have not been able to confirm this, but Rich ought to know (unless he's mistaken about what an "aubergine" is).

6. jensotto: "Nick Cave moved to Berlin and the Bad Seeds stayed there 1985-89. The Triffids [an Australian band] were also playing in Europe in the same period." Cave released Kicking Against the Pricks, an album of cover versions, in 1986, a year before this song first appeared (thanks to Portsmouth Bubblejet).

Jem suggests the infamous "summit" between MES, Cave, and Shane MacGowan has to do with the origins of this song (and also "Twister"). A transcript can be found at The Quietus; it cannot be saved in the Wayback Machine, for some reason, but see comment 53 below.

7. This seems to refer to a tartan, or quilt pattern, worn by the Scottish Macgregor clan, and thus is maybe a dig at loud, colorful clothing, perhaps where the colors clash. This perhaps even explains "Van Gogh savage": From a catalog entry from the Metropolitan Museum of Art, concerning Van Gogh's painting The Zoave: "In the oil painting, Van Gogh heightened the 'savage combination of incongruous tones,' fleshed out the character's likeness, and placed him in a convincing setting." The quote within that quote is from a letter to Van Gogh's brother Theo. I recognize this is a stretch.

8. Joseph has called it to my attention that "twister" can mean a crook or villain in British slang, although it is an old usage. See also "Twister."

More Information

Australians in Europe: Fall Tracks A-Z

The Story of the Fall: 1987

Comments (58)

1. dannyno | 20/03/2014

These dogs might be described as "loose" in a kiln:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andiron

2. Rich | 22/02/2016

"Australians your biggest things rejected"
We Australians are very proud of our big things eg Big Pineapple, Big Sheep, Big Lobster, Big Ned Kelly. They usually have gift shops attached. I personally climbed to the top of the Big Pineapple in the 70's (for you Brits a pineapple is what you would refer to as an 'aubergine,' not to be confused with a 'courgette' which of course is a watermelon.)

3. Mark | 20/07/2016

The conversation at the start between MES and Trevor Stuart:

[inaudible]
MES: So what if it goes all right, er, say... say it works out real good, would you be up to doing something, say, around like March, April? We could get it... I'd like to take it round to Liverpool, Manchester and places like that, y'know.
TS: Yeah, you can have me until April the 20th.
MES: Yeah, you got work on from there?
Trev: Yeah, going to Australia to do a show.
MES: Right, OK.

4. bzfgt | 23/07/2016

Thank you, Mark. I just listened to the single version and that is all quite audible, just as you have it, so I don't know why I did not have it.

It initially said:

Conversation with Ham A. Circa: Post House Motel.

I looked at that and thought, what the hell is that? I checked the lyrics books and there is no text for this song. Then I thought to check the Lyrics Parade and sure enough, that phrase is there.

I don't know if I ever knew why it was there--there is a good chance I just copied and pasted this from the LP. Does anyone know what the hell that is?

5. dannyno | 11/10/2016

"Conversation with Ham" comes from the "Sinister Times" promo newspaper:

6. T.L.B. | 13/12/2017

I've always heard the first line as "Australians in Europe never ever breed", rather than "breathe". It makes more sense to me in the context of the rest of the lyric, ie: putting down Australians. Breed is obviously a word usually used to describe animal behaviour. You also get the sense of the Australians being an alien race, which I guess he wants to convey. If you listen to the first time he sings the line, the last drawn out syllable seems tobea 'd' rather than an 'e'.
I also think the "biggest things rejected" line later on is actually "biggest things invented" It's to do with the size of things in Australia, the vast distances, huge indigenous spiders etc.

I also think the line later on is "biggest things invented rather

7. bzfgt (link) | 23/12/2017

TLB, I think, rightly or wrongly, I hear "Thh" the first line.

Does anyone else want to give it a go and see if we get some kind of consensus--"th," "d," or "indiscernible/undecidable"? No lyrics book version on this one, by the way.

With "rejected," to me it seems very clear he says "invented," so I am changing that unless anyone objects.

8. bzfgt (link) | 23/12/2017

Dan, what is Sinister Times exactly --put out of the Cog Sinister office as, as you say, a promo thing? Are they lyrics?

Do we know who wrote/edited it? Is there a version where one can see what it says under "Australians in Europe" or discern the "Ham" line? I get nothing useful from Google.

9. bzfgt (link) | 23/12/2017

And cannot blow up the thing you posted.

10. dannyno | 29/12/2017

Sinister Times was "official", c.1988ish I think but on sale for a couple of years. It was produced by MES-associate Dave Luff who was also responsible for both lyrics books. It has the same problems as the books when it comes to whether the lyrics therein are derived from paperwork obtained from MES or are based on what Luff could himself hear - or on fan transcriptions.

11. jensotto | 06/01/2018

Australians i Berlin: Nick Cave moved to Berlin and the Bad Seeds stayed there 1985-89. The Triffids were also playing in the same period.

12. bzfgt (link) | 10/02/2018

Dan, is there a reason to have something about that here?

13. Portsmouth Bubblejet | 18/02/2018

As discussed previously, this is the song where I think that the 'Sinister Times' transcription is quite far away from what I'm hearing. On both the single version and the Peel Sessions version, Smith seems to be singing: "Your cover versions are naff and you live in Berlin", instead of "boys use a map". I've surmised that it's a playful swipe at Nick Cave, who lived in Berlin and had just released his album of cover versions 'Kicking Against The Pricks' in 1986, a year before 'Australians in Europe' was released.

I also don't hear the word 'McGregor' at all in the following, in either version, and originally had the last bit of that line as a garbled reference to the popular at the time Australian soap opera Neighbours: "You're like a Van Gogh savage (?) and preggers, Gail, with no sh*t'.

14. bzfgt (link) | 19/02/2018

Yes, it's definitely "cover versions"!

15. bzfgt (link) | 19/02/2018

OK "Van Gogh savage" I hear too, but what does it mean, is he thinking of Gaugain? I do hear something like "preggers Gail" but I can't get anything clear enough to replace "McGregor's kiln" yet.

16. Portsmouth Bubblejet | 19/02/2018

No, I can't hear anything clearly in that line either, but I certainly don't hear anything like 'McGregor' or 'kiln'.

There was a plotline in 'Neighbours' in the late 1980s about a character called Gail Robinson who was unable to conceive, and 'preggers' is an Australian word for 'pregnant'.

17. Joseph Mullaney | 20/02/2018

I hear 'great grandad' without 'the'. There are some variations in the (fantastic) Peel version, including references to a Dutchman and New Zealand at the end, but I haven't been able to decipher them yet.

18. Joseph Mullaney | 21/02/2018

This is what I hear:

Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe

Australians in Europe
Never ever breathe
Australians in Europe
Get a whiff of that Antipodean breeze
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Higher!

Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Think why did great-grandad leave
Australians in Europe
Never ever see
That he was consigned to a boat after using a huge great cleaver

Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe!
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Never ever…

(Brix) Australians In Europe
(Voice of Trevor Stuart low in mix)
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe

(MES) Breathe…
Australians in Europe
You’re the biggest (?- in the Peel version it's `fools')
I have ever seen
Your cover versions are naff
And you live in Berlin

You’re like a (Van Gogh) (?)
You make preggers Gail, with no chin
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe!
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe
Wake up and suss the scene
You’d better leave them parents
And fly Hamburg to Berlin
You’re just a bloody twister
So who do you think you’re foolin’
Australians in Europe
Australians in Europe!
Australians in Europe!

Additional lines in Peel version:
You’d better get a lesson before you turn into a Dutchman
[… ] to New Zealand

19. Joseph Mullaney | 21/02/2018

`Van Gogh` sounds more like `fat`- something...

20. dannyno | 21/02/2018

Rich, comment #2, note #4:

RichWe Australians are very proud of our big things eg Big Pineapple, Big Sheep, Big Lobster, Big Ned Kelly. They usually have gift shops attached. I personally climbed to the top of the Big Pineapple in the 70's (for you Brits a pineapple is what you would refer to as an 'aubergine,' not to be confused with a 'courgette' which of course is a watermelon.)

That's definitively hilarious nonsense of the kind that I worry people take seriously!

21. bzfgt (link) | 24/02/2018

Yeah I always thought an aubergine was an eggplant...kids could get their hands on this stuff.

22. bzfgt (link) | 24/02/2018

I missed "grandad" last week Joseph, I'm going to trust you on that one as I am listening to something else right now...someone will correct us if it's wrong.

I thought it was "granddad," as in grand dad, but Google says British English prefers "grandad," as in gran dad, I guess...

23. bzfgt (link) | 24/02/2018

Fuck, another one I have to listen to in its entirety and check the lyrics with what Joseph has...

24. bzfgt (link) | 24/02/2018

Yeah he really pronounces "the," it's not "breed"

25. bzfgt (link) | 24/02/2018

"Antipodean" is not clear, it sounds like "antipeedean"

26. bzfgt (link) | 24/02/2018

Yeah it could be "fat," or "Van Gogh" with the "gh" pronounced, like "Van Gough"

27. bzfgt (link) | 24/02/2018

I think it is "Van Gogh savage," and I think it is "McGregor's kilt," not "kiln" (and not "preggers Gail).

28. bzfgt (link) | 24/02/2018

McGregor's kilt with no chin

29. bzfgt (link) | 24/02/2018

"Fly Hamburg to Berlin," not "try"

I think this is pretty "accurate!" now.

30. bzfgt (link) | 24/02/2018

OK Joseph, the above is my ears and I see it jibes with yours in many places. Macgregor is the main departure. I see you had "fly" too, I changed them then checked with yours and I take it as a good sign where we agree on a chamge.

31. bzfgt (link) | 24/02/2018

But "kilt" removes much of the mystery, it's a clan kilt pattern. And I don't know why "Van Gogh" savage, he may be thinking of Gaugain, or something I don't know about.

https://genius.com/Dag-savage-van-gogh-lyrics

https://www.amazon.com/Hey-Van-Gogh-Elizabeth-Bonzo-Savage/dp/B005B3HK22

32. bzfgt (link) | 24/02/2018

Van Gogh on his painting the Zouave:

Two days into his campaign, he announced to Theo: "I have a model at last—a Zouave—a boy with a small face, a bull neck, and the eye of the tiger." The present work served as a color study for his bust-length portrait of the dashing young soldier. In the oil painting, Van Gogh heightened the "savage combination of incongruous tones," fleshed out the character's likeness, and placed him in a convincing setting.

I assume the second quote is still Van Gogh himself. A stretch, but just maybe a reference to the colors of the kilt. I know, very unlikely

Note if we were doing The Annotated Survivor, we'd really have something though:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btPJPFnesV4

33. bzfgt (link) | 24/02/2018

What the fuck is "They're just a bloody twister?" If that's what it really is.

34. bzfgt (link) | 24/02/2018

You guys aren't going to like it, and you;re going to try to talk me down, but I'm warming to this "Van Gogh savage" and "kilt" thing as being a dig at over-colorful clothing.

35. bzfgt (link) | 24/02/2018

Look at this picture of Nick Cave in what looks like a kilt!

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a4/dd/bc/a4ddbcf26c329d309a4b37a2731607da.jpg

36. bzfgt (link) | 24/02/2018

Pants, but they're kilty as hell.

37. bzfgt (link) | 24/02/2018

Aside from a little muddiness around Van Gogh/Macgregor, I think the above is now accurate.

38. Joseph Mullaney | 26/02/2018

I'm still sure I hear a 'p' sound. Like Portsmout Bubblejet, I'm not hearing 'McGregor' at all.

Also sure it's not 'invented'. It sounds more like 'affected' but without being able to make out the previous word, it's hard to say.

39. Joseph Mullaney | 26/02/2018

A twister can mean a crook or villain in Britain. It's old usage though.

40. Joseph Mullaney | 26/02/2018

I'm now thinking that I can hear 'goth' where you have Van Gogh. Which would make sense if the song is at least partly a swipe at Nick Cave.

41. dannyno | 04/03/2018

Twister - see my comments on that song here at annotatedfall!

42. dannyno | 04/03/2018

Australians in Europe
The biggest things invented I have ever seen
Their cover versions are naff and they live in Berlin
Your like a Van Gogh savage, McGregor's kilt,
With no chin

Ooh dear, I'm not sure any of the variant readings is right.

43. bzfgt (link) | 10/03/2018

Yeah, I was just opening "Twister" in wake of Joseph's comment, good deal

44. bzfgt (link) | 10/03/2018

OO, yeah, maybe "goth savage" I really think the rest of it is right. I'll have a listen.

45. bzfgt (link) | 10/03/2018

I wonder if it's directly related to "crook" since it has a similar (literal) meaning

46. bzfgt (link) | 10/03/2018

Interesting, I already had "crook" in the notes to Twister; if I read my own notes, I'd learn a lot...

47. Ex worker man | 07/04/2018

point 6 - I heard "you made preggers Gail with no chin" (clearer on the Radio 1 Live in Concert CD) which made me think of Gail from Coronation Street, who as British TV viewers will know is famous for her diminutive jawline.
Wikipedia tells me;
"Early in 1986, Brian's Australian cousin, Ian Latimer (Michael Loney) visits and stays with Ivy. Soon he and Gail are having an affair. Gail admits this to Brian on learning that she is pregnant and doesn't know who is the father. "
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gail_McIntyre

"You'd better leave them parents" sounds more like "you believe in Paris" to me

48. bzfgt (link) | 22/04/2018

Fuck, I really think I hear that Macgregor's kilt stuff, this has to be forensically examined and compared with Peel and live.

49. dannyno | 15/03/2019

From the booklet to the 2019 Beggars Banquet reissue of Bend Sinister.

TREVOR STUART: I'm at the start of Australians in Europe. That was after the so-called success of the piece; he used to come in every night and have a chat with the two actors, because he used to like being with the actors more than the band. He asked me if I'd want to tour to Manchester and Liverpool: I told him I couldn't because I had to go to Australia. Unbeknownst to me, he recorded me and played it - I thought it was hilarious.

50. bzfgt (link) | 27/04/2019

I guess instead of starting most of these with a free floating note, I could just have a little introductory paragraph or so at the head of the notes. Well, it took me 6 1/2 years to think of it, and it's too late now...

51. dannyno | 09/05/2019

Note #6 - according to Andrea Baker's book "The Great Music City: Exploring Music, Space and Identity", Cave moved to Berlin in 1983 and left in 1989.

52. dannyno | 09/05/2019

And:

"Think, "Why did Great Grandad leave?"
Australians in Europe never ever see
He was consigned to a boat after using a huge great cleaver."

For what it's worth, since the lines need not be literal, Nick Cave was asked in an interview about convict ancestors:

Disappointingly, he can’t point to a single transported convict among his ancestors: “Unfortunately not. My grandfather was German and my grandmother was English. All Australians want a convict past these days. But I don’t have one.”

Source:n https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/film/nick-cave-as-long-as-i-can-remember-i-ve-had-a-pre-disposition-toward-violent-thought-1.1933812

[Archive]

53. Jem | 01/11/2019

Much of this track (and "Twister") seem to be able to be traced to an NME round table summit that was featured in a Christmas issue in 1989 with MES, Shane McGowan of the Pogues and Nick Cave, which devolved (as one might expect) into a drunken mess. You can see the full glory here https://thequietus.com/articles/09277-mark-e-smith-nick-cave-shane-macgowan-nme-interview

Can't remember where I read it but apparently MES was very much looking forward to meeting SM but MES got so plastered that most of the interview is NC and SM enjoying each others' company and taking the piss out of MES for not being able to make himself intelligible or comprehensible. As a result 2 things happened: NC and SM recorded "It's a Wonderful World" and a couple of other collaborations; and MES poured his dislike of NC into this track.

Evidence largely in the much-noted "your cover versions are crap and you live in Berlin" (Kicking Against the Pricks), the 'no chin' comment (which, check out Mr Cave's profile next time you see him) and "You're just a bloody twister so who do you think you're fooling" which 'twister' is Manchester slang for a junkie (twisting the spike), and his ongoing use of heroin was certainly in effect at the time, and contrasted with Mr Cave's erudition/ambition/whatnot.

Thoughts about the "Van Gogh" line - I always imagined it was "a mad dog yappin'" - which could be a reference to Mad Dog Morgan, in which Dennis Hopper stars as an mad bushranger in the Outback.

Hope this helps a bit.

54. Jem | 01/11/2019

Actually as a addendum the Quietus lists that article as 1989 (and so do all the other sources that link back to it) but I think it's earlier, like 1987. Cannot find any evidence tho.

55. bzfgt (link) | 09/11/2019

What is the connection with "Twister"?

56. dannyno | 09/11/2019

Jem, comment #54.

The reason you can't find any evidence that the article was published in 1987 is that it wasn't. The Smith/Cave/Macgowan summit was published in the NME of 25 February 1989.

Obviously it therefore cannot be the source of any lyrics prior to that date.

Here's the cover, to prove it:

https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZnzyyDFfgio/WmmHyKvn_pI/AAAAAAAARac/Orcl90HK3_IOz6TNYQe_XqgtyiBkLEARgCLcBGAs/s1600/nme.jpg

57. dannyno | 06/03/2020

Note 6:

Jem suggests the infamous "summit" between MES, Cave, and Shane MacGowan has to do with the origins of this song (and also "Twister"). A transcript can be found at The Quietus; it cannot be saved in the Wayback Machine, for some reason, but see comment 53 below.

While there might be echoes, as I point out in comment #56 the interview post-dates this lyric.