No X-mas for John Quays
Lyrics
The X in X-Mas is a substitute crucifix for Christ (2)
A-one, A-two, A-one, two, three, four
No Christmas for John Quays
No Christmas for John Quays
No Christmas for John Quays
No Christmas for John Quays (3)
The powders reach you
And the powders teach you
When you find they can't reach you (4)
There is no Christmas for junkies
He thinks he is
More interesting
Than the world
But buying cigs
Puts him in a whirl
A packet of three-five fives
Five hundred and fifty five (5)
A packet of those over there
And 20 special offer cigars
And 20 special offer cigars
Found talking to the cigarette machine...
Into nicotinic acid (6)
Good King Wenceslas looked out
Silly bugger, he fell out (7)
He spits in the sky
It falls in his eye (8)
And then he gets to sit in
Talking to his kitten
And talking about Frankie Lymon
Tell me why is it so?
Tell me why is it so? (9)
Out of his face with The Idle Race (10)
Out of the room with his tune
Although the skins are thin
He knows its up to him
To go out or stay in
I'll stay in
I'll stay in
I'll stay in
I'll stay in
You
Me
X-Mas
X-Mas
Well the powders reach you
And the powders teach you
When they find that they can't reach you
There is no Christmas for John Quays
No girls
No curls
Just the traffic passing by
Bye bye bye bye bye bye bye
Bye bye bye
Bye bye bye
One, Two, Three, Four
No Christmas for John Quays
No Christmas for John Quays
No Christmas for John Quays
No Christmas for John Quays
Notes
1. The name of the title character is seemingly a pun on "junkies" (see note 3 below). In his book The Fallen, Dave Simpson talks with a woman who had been close to the Fall at the time, and who reveals that John Quays was an actual person (and, conveniently enough, a junkie, or at least a heavy drug user). The implication in the book is that "John Quays" was/is his actual name, but this is never confirmed and seems less than certain to me. On the other hand, former (briefly) Fall member and Una Baines associate Jonnie Brown was reportedly convinced the song was about him.
Dan:
"It's worth noting that Dave Simpson (author of The Fallen) says 'The John Quays character is certainly a play on words' - i.e., this isn't the precise name of the person in question. Also, for what it is worth, I've tried an English/Welsh births records search from 1916 and nobody whatsoever was born after that date with the name 'John Quays.'"
According to Alan, "I can vouch that John Key does indeed exist - I've been for a drink with him - Mark just changed the spelling. Apparently he went out with Mark's sister for a while, which Mark didn't approve of and so wrote a song attacking him."
There is a John Key from Prestwich, who founded the band The Teardrops, which included Fall members Karl Burns, Tony Friel and Martin Bramah at one time or another (thanks to Wheelie).
From Stopping, Starting, and Falling All over Again, interview with MES and Bramah by Graham Lock. NME, 7 April 1979, p.7-8, 40.
Mark: [...] 'Xmas' is about takers. It's anti-drugs in a lot of ways. A lot of people use drugs for getting off on 'n' they're just mind-fuckers, fucking their own brains. And they really try 'n' get your sympathy, saying 'Oh, I musthave some barbs' or whatever. And there was this guy - not called John Quays - who just kept wanting things. It's about him really. He was a real bastard.
According to Duncan "There's another version where he sings 'Up in her room there's a cloud of smoke' a couple of times. This is a quote from 'Up in her room' by The Seeds."
Ex-worker man: "Intro to 'Frightened' on Live 77 CD; "We are frightened, cause it's Christmas, Santa never comes for junkies." This is especially interesting if you think MES more or less identifies with the narrator of "Frightened" (which is debatable), as he would seem to hoist himself on his own petard in that case...
In any case, the song may be about a type as much as any one person. MES expounds the idea of "No Xmas" in the Dutch fanzine Unite and Fight, issue 4, 1980 (thanks to Dan):
Wel, het zijn een soort junkies, en dan niet zozeer met drugs, naar die de hele tijd opwinding willen en nodig hebben. En op is voor hun geen kerstmis. Met andere woorden: ze onderschneiden de schijnkicks niet meer van de echte kicks.
Well, they're kind of junkies, not so much with drugs, who want and need excitement all the time. And there is no Christmas for them. In other words, they no longer distinguish the fake kicks from the real kicks.
2. X, which looks like a cross lying on its side and leaning away from the viewer, has been used as a symbol for Christ since at least the 11th century, standing for the Greek letter Chi (the initial letter in Christos).
3. MES does not enunciate the 's' the first three times, so it sounds like "No Christmas for junkie." However, it may also be "No Christmas for John Key," i.e. he could be lapsing into the original name that inspired at least the title, if not the song (see note 1, particularly Alan's testimony). Or, he may just be swallowing the 's' (although it doesn't sound like it).
4. From "Black Skinned Blue Eyed Boy" by the Equals (1970):
Cool is school
But the teachers beat ya
When they see
That they can't reach ya
Read more: The Equals - Black Skin Blue Eyed Boys Lyrics | MetroLyrics
5. State Express 555 is a British cigarette.
6. Nicotinic acid is niacin, a B vitamin. It has nothing (much) to do with nicotine, although it is probable MES is punning on nicotine here, given the context.
Nicotine is named after a Frenchman named Jean Nicot de Villemain, introduced tobacco plants to France in the 17th century. Nicotinic acid was discovered by the chemist Hugo Weidel in 1873; he derived it from nicotine (hence the name), but it can come from lots of other sources, like vegetables, meat, or eggs. It was named "niacin" (a compound of "nicotinic" and "vitamin") when, apparently, there was a bit of a scare that people were ingesting nicotine with their flour.
6. A reference, of course, to the popular Christmas carol "Good King Wenceslas," which begins: "Good King Wenceslas looked out on the feast of Stephen." Wenceslas (actually a Bohemian Duke, Wenceslaus) was a 10th-century saint and martyr. Otto I, founder of the Holy Roman Empire, posthumously conferred kingship on the late Duke.
The rendition MES has here is in fact a traditional children's parody of the carol. Here is one version:
Good King Wenceslas looked out
Of his bedroom winder
Silly bugger he fell out
On a red hot cinder
Brightly shone his bum that night
Though the frost was cruel
Till the doctor came in sight
Riding on a mule
Good King Wenceslas drove out
In his Austin Seven
He bumped into a trolley bus
And now he's up in heaven
There are versions around the internet with other verses, but you get the idea.
Danny brought this to my attention, and he has located one version in Frank Rutherford's 1971 book, All the Way to Pennywell: Children's Rhymes of the North-East.
7. This line appears in "People Grudgeful" by Sir Gibbs (one of two songs that form the basis of the Fall's "Why Are People Grudgeful?"), and in "Jim Screechey" by Big Youth ("You spit in the sky, it fall in your eye"). MES also seems to quote Big Youth on "Get A Hotel" and "City Hobgoblins." The origin ultimately seems to be the Jamaican proverb which, in patois, runs "Pit inna de sky, it fall inna yuh y'eye."
8. Frankie Lymon was the lead singer of the Teenagers, whose "Why Do Fools Fall in Love?" (which contains the line "Tell me why, tell me why") went to number one in the UK in 1956. In 1968, Lymon died of a heroin overdose at the age of 25.
9. The Idle Race were a British band in the late 60s and early 70s that featured future ELO mastermind Jeff Lynne. The Fall covered the Lynne-penned "Birthday" in the 1990s (with Lucy Rimmer on lead vocals).
Comments (58)
He quite clearly sings that the "powders reach you" and "teach you", and that verse appears twice.
Wenceslas "last looked out", not "he looked out".
I hear "out of the room with this tune", not "his tune"/
And there's a missing powders verse after the "you, me, Xmas, Xmas" verse.
Here's what I hear (I know you won't want to repeat all the repeated lines):
The x in Xmas is a substitute crucifix for Christ
One, two, one, two, three, four
No Christmas for John Quays
No Christmas for John Quays
No Christmas for John Quays
No Christmas for John Quays
Well, the powders reach you and the powders teach you
And when you find they can't reach you
There is no Christmas for John Quays
He thinks he is more interesting than the world
But buying cigs puts him in a whirl
A packet of three five fives
555
A packet of those over there
And twenty special offer cigars
And twenty special offer cigars
Found talking to the cigarette machine
Into nicotinic acid
Good King Wenceslas last looked out
Silly bugger, he fell out
He spits in the sky
It falls in his eye
And then he gets to sit in
Talking to his kitten
And talking about Frankie Lymon
Tell me why is it so?
Tell me why is it so?
Out of his face with The Idle Race
Out of the room with this tune
Although the skins are thin
He knows it's up to him
To go out or stay in
Oh, I'll stay in
I'll stay in
I'll stay in
I'll stay in
I'll stay in
You, me, Xmas, Xmas
Well the powders reach you, and the powders teach you
And when you find that they can't reach you
There is no Christmas for John Quays
No girls
No curls
Just the traffic passing by
Bye bye bye bye bye bye bye
Bye bye bye
Bye bye bye
One, two, three, four
No Xmas for John Quays
No Xmas for John Quays
No Xmas for John Quays
No Xmas for John Quays
"Good King Wenceslas last looked out
Silly bugger, he fell out"
is a traditional parody.
It is recorded, for example, in Frank Rutherford's 1971 book, "All the Way to Pennywell: Children's Rhymes of the North-East" (University of Durham Institute of Education):
"Good king Wence'las last looked out
Of his bedroom winder
Silly bugger, he fell out
On a red hot cinder"
and so on.
Excellent find with the King Wenceslas stuff.
However:
You're missing the "one, two, three, four after "substitute crucifix for Christ".
"But buying cigs", not "And buying cigs".
"Good King Wenceslaus last looked out", not "Good King Wenceslaus looked out"
:-)
So it's at least as old as that.
Accent sometimes needs attention listening to MES.
One thing...
I always heard 20 special offer stickers not cigars. That would have been more familiar at the time, you didn't get huge disparity in cigarette prices and the cheap deal was usually a discount sticker on a pack rather than a supposed inferior brand like now. Brand was just preference then apart from a few premium choices. Stickers also fits better on a packet of 20 cigs rather than cigars, you didn't get 20 cigars.
Listening now I actually hear 20 special offer stickers followed by 20 special offer cigars: so go with the whirl of indecision taking him from his 555s through, whatever, on to the cheap deal brand then the alliteration of stickers and cigars lead him to end up with asking for that as well.
On the totals turns version where he rants at the band, he substitutes the special offer...for 20 Number 6 for a headache x2. Players No 6 were a harsh smoke that would give you pain choking if not headache if puffed through a pack.
Cheers
"The story of 'No Xmas For John Quays' is really good."
"I'll post 'No Xmas For John Quays' if more Blue Orchids' 10"s sell! It's funny, that one."
Anyone who hadn't read the whole thread might think it was Martin Bramah himself posting, given the sales push for Blue Orchids. However:
"I am not Martin Bramah,"
I don't think I'm being overly curious when I ask myself just who wontonton is and what connection he has to Blue Orchids (all the threads he's started are about that band/Martin Bramah) and what other knowledge he has about early Fall in general. When we go down the whole song interpretation debate (see "Mother-Sister") I think that it's important to know who exactly is claiming what and why. But maybe I shouldn't be so nosy!
I ask the question not because the idea the song is based on Keys is implausible - it's very plausible - but because I think it's good to understand what the evidential basis of comments is.
The other question is whether Keys was in fact a junkie. This question has two angles. One is that in fact the song lyrics are not very specific when it comes to describing junkie behaviour - apart from the "powders reach you" bit. The portrait is not in fact wholly focussed on the junkie thing - there's more there about buying cigarettes. So that leads me to wonder whether in writing a song based on a real character, and attacking him, MES enjoyed the Keys/Quays pun and so generalised the lyric to have a broader meaning. You take my point? Keys could be the original lyrical target without the song being about him specifically as a junkie or accusing him of that.
MES decides to write a song about Nigel Blackwood (isn't every third Englishman named that?). Blackwood is a junkie. MES is also struck by the fact that John Keys's name is pronounced close to the same as "junkies," or exactly the same depending on your accent. So MES decides to use a version of John Keys's name as the name in the song of Blackwood.
1. I DO have "junkie" in the lyrics, and;
2. As was pointed out pretty decisively last week, the lyrics book will not settle anything, since at least some of them are third party transcriptions!
SHOULD I have "junkies" in the lyrics? Is that too much of a commitment? After all, the title is "No X-Mas For John Quays," and it's as likely as anything else that that is what he in fact says, isn't it?
Right now I'm changing it to "John Quays" with a note, but I will listen to arguments as to why i must restore "junkies/junkie." It seems to me now that this transcription is as much an interpretation as a transcription, is it not?
Is there some sort of evidence beyond the aural that it's "junkie"?
Alan: did you leave this encounter certain that his name is not "John Key"? That would be another wrinkle, it would make "junkies" slightly less likely, and the idea that the song is indeed about him slightly more likely, I think.
Just to reiterate, it's possible that:
1. John Key was a junkie and the inspiration for the song;
2. John Key was not a junkie but was the inspiration for the song, which is a bit of mischief which
a. may or may not be due to his dating MES's sister;
3. John Key was the inspiration for the song's title, but not its content;
a. it's about another junkie but uses JK's name
b. it's a fictional character
c. it's a composite character, of which
i. one of the models is John Key
ii. is modeled after two or more people, neither of whom are John Key
4. John Key has nothing to do with the song, but he thinks he does.
(p7)
"We are frightened, cause it's Christmas, Santa never comes for junkies"
From Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention, Hungry Freaks, Daddy
Vaguely echoes here of the lyrics of Mother-Sister:
I reckon he's yer fella.
The thing is, is John Key the target of the song in any sense, or did he merely contribute a pleasing pun? That's the question here, leaving aside mere coincidence. Anyone brave enough to ask him for his take?!
Nicotinic acid (also known as niacin) is vitamin B3, which occurs naturally in food is used as a medicine. Niacin (nicotinic acid) is used to prevent and treat niacin deficiency (pellagra). Niacin deficiency may result from certain medical conditions (such as alcohol abuse, malabsorption syndrome, Hartnup disease), poor diet, or long-term use of certain medications (such as isoniazid).
I guess Mark didn't know this.
Lots of vitamins in Fall songs, of course:
http://dannyno.org.uk/fall/v.htm
I guess we'll never know what the intention was now, but good to bring out the associations.
Jonnie Brown was a heroin user (see The Fallen), and of course Baines took up with him for a bit. Her own drug use is also briefly discussed in The Fallen. Eric the Ferret is also noted as a user in the book. Bramah has spoken about his own experiences: https://www.popmatters.com/motorways-bank-robbers-and-other-delights-a-conversation-with-martin-bramah-2495427441.html
But I'm not sure we necessarily should be worrying about the "who". It may or may not be the case that "John Quays" or Keys was a "junkie". We know there was a real person with a similar name in the orbit who MES may have disapproved of, or vice versa. The guy is still around and can be asked, although who would dare? But fundamentally, junkie or not, the pun on the name is probably the crucial aspect. If he was a heroin user himself, then you could take it literally, but if not then it still works as a pun and probably annoys the guy into the bargain.
I didn't know that though, and it's really good intel.
And that is possibly also similar to the case here with "John Quays." I feel uncomfortable trying to determine and identify any Fall member or associate of the time who may have been on smack, it's a general point and the chips may fall where they may, unless we at some point have good reason to think he has someone in mind.
It does sound at times like MES is singing Keys/Quays. I have always (since I bought the album in the mid '80s) understood the song to be about junkies.
After the line "You could say he was into nicotinic acid" he sings "Down the chimney good St Nicholas". Nic - St Nick - think of the Beach Boys. Surely there is a pun there somewhere. Later in the song, incidentally he sings "Make sure the album this song is on is in your Christmas stocking". Just a shame it came out in March the following year.
The Nico ref is a stretch but fascinating. She did live in Manchester for a period in the '80s. After a gig at Rafters in 1981 she was put up in temporary accommodation in the city by Alan Wise and later she got a flat in Sedgeley Park, Prestwich, the very same area MES had lived in. She frequented the pubs in Prestwich where she played pool (did she bump into Smith?). She recorded with Martin Hannett (inc an excellent version of 'All Tomorrow's Parties') and performed live/toured with Blue Orchids. See the article from the Guardian by Dave Simpson (5 July 2019) 'Nico in Manchester:"She loved the architecture and the heroin"' for more info. She did live with JCC for a while but I think that was in London. See also YouTube video 'Nico Icon Play - BBC Inside Out', showing the house in Prestwich.
On a personal note I lived in Manchester on and off throughout the '80s myself and saw Nico at the Band on the Wall in '85 doing a solo gig playing harmonium. After her performance my friends and I were critiquing the show when we realised that she was sitting at the table behind us!
Here's a couple of quotes with my Google-translate assisted translations:
Source: https://www.bacteria.nl/unite-and-fight-4/
The extra E I put in the middle of Sedgley Park stands for Edward. And the Dutch can keep their hoofdorgasme to themselves.
No, there isn't such a record.
But it is moot anyway, because although it is true that A Junky's Christmas was not published until it appeared in the 1989 Burroughs's anthology, Interzone, it was actually written in the early 1950s and therefore cannot have been either inspired or influenced by this song (nor can MES have encountered it before writing this song).
From James Grauerholz's introduction to Interzone, p.xvi:
Dan
"Alternatively, two Dutch given names Jan (Dutch: [jɑn]) and Kees (Dutch: [keːs]) have long been common, and the two are sometimes combined into a single name (Jan Kees). Its Anglicized spelling Yankee could, in this way, have been used to mock Dutch colonists. The chosen name Jan Kees may have been partly inspired by a dialectal rendition of Jan Kaas ("John Cheese"), the generic nickname that Southern Dutch (particularly Flemish) used for Dutch people living in the North.[15]"