The League of Bald-Headed Men
Lyrics
(1)
You know when you end up in some sort of a cinema complex
And the person next to you is someone you hate?
Well well well well well well well well with me,
I end up like that
All around and inside left
All through the walls
It suppurates
Look it up! (2)
I'm immobile.
Is your house for sale? (3)
And Davey's just got out of his cell
Where have you been this time?
Your lives are beyond the pale
Walk! Walk the main drag, splayed
See the blue baseball hatted, baseball blue hatted
School friends
Pop mongs
Male loafers
Business affairs advisers
And members of the band
Suppurates--
Look it up!
And every day it's my pleasure to meet
The great league of bald-headed men
And it's every day's my pleasure to meet
The great league of bald-headed men
Your friends, pop mongs, first wives, ex-loafers
And every day it is my pleasure to meet
The league of bald-headed men
And every day it's my pleasure to meet
The great league
And every day it's my pleasure to meet
The league of bald-heanded men
And every day it's my pleasure to meet
The league of bald-headed men
Baseball hatted, blue capped
Baseball hatted, blue capped (4)
And every day it's my pleasure to meet
The league of bald-headed men
And every day it's my pleasure to meet (5)
Notes
1. The Story of the Fall has it that this song contains "ruminations on executive/media types," but Mick Middles' comment from his book about the Fall seems more likely to me (via Reformation): as Middles has it, the song describes "how ageing rockers grabbed garish T-shirts and began to dance appallingly during Madchester's unholy and artless explosion." The conventional wisdom has it that the riff is copped from Led Zeppelin's "Misty Mountain Hop," but the riff is very simple and it is not exactly the same, so this could just as easily be chalked up to chance. In any case, in an era when the Fall gave much of their music a dance-pop feel (albeit with quite a bit of vigor on The Infortainent Scan, although less so elsewhere), this song is a heavy dose of rock.
Blazenstruik points out that the title is most likely inspired by Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes story "The Adventure of the Red-Headed League." Danny has discovered that, when it was translated into Japanese, the story appeared under the more relatable title "The Bald-Headed League." And at least as early as 1981, there was an actual "Bald-Headed League," which was able to boast of having Telly Savalas among its members. Harley also points to the 1960 film The League of Gentlemen.
From Steve Hanley's The Big Midweek (p314)
"I start to wonder if I'm becoming his muse when the next track becomes a diatribe entitled 'The League of Bald-Headed Men'. I am clearly the founding member. The lyrics aren't taking much working out these days, are they?" (thanks to Dan)
According to nobody (i.e. "nobody," in the comments below):
Ben Pritchard says he believes this song is about the groups older fans
"What's cool now is that, when I first joined the group, any shows that we did in England, when we turned up at the venue, and the majority of the audience would be 35-40-year- old guys. Very, very critical. But what's really, really cool is that in the past 3-4 years in England, we've had this explosion of American bands like the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, the Strokes, the White Stripes, and they have quite often said, when they've been asked, "Who are your inspirations?," they've all said The Fall. So what's really cool now, especially in the States, is that we're coming to the shows and there's loads of young people there. And that's so refreshing to Mark. Because he cares! He really cares. I mean, he wrote the song "The League of Bald-headed Gentlemen" [sic], and I believe that's what that refers to. The fact that all he'd see was bald heads in the crowd. That was the thing, you know - he got a bit sick and tired of it."
Blazenstruik suggests that the title may be inspired by Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes story "The Adventure of the Red-Headed League." Danny has discovered that, when it was translated into Japanese, the story appeared under the more relatable title "The Bald-Headed League." And at least as early as 1981, there was an actual "Bald-Headed League," which was able to boast of having Telly Savalas among its members. DC Comics' Batman series also features a "League of Assassins," dating back before the song.
Alan has likely found the proximate source, though--a 1968 episode of Get Smart! entitled "Diamonds are a Spy's Best Friend" features a gang of jewel thieves who style themselves the "League of Bald-Headed Men." Get Smart! was widely shown in syndication for years after its 1965-1970 run, and Dan has found that this episode aired in England on August 22, 1992. The first peformance of this song was November 19th of that year. However, Dan points out that the titular line appeared earlier than that, hence closer to the air date of the episode in question. From Reformation: "it is interesting to note that lyrics from the track were first used by MES on stage during a performance of 'US 80s 90s' at the Ritz, Manchester, on 15 September 1992, when he incorporated into the latter song the words: 'And it is the league of bald-headed men in leather jackets conniving in a preponderence...'"
2. If you do you'll be grossed out by the image of pus seeping through the walls, a substance that is perhaps traceable back to the league members' bald heads.
3. There seems to be a pun here, as Maldoror reports:
"In French an "agent immobilier" is a real-estate agent. "Immobilier" is anything to do with selling land + houses."
MES seems freaked out by middle age in this song...
4. Nairng reminds us that MES was a big fan of Gene Vincent, whose band was the Blue Caps. Dan adds that there are mythical English ghosts called Bluecaps, who inhabit mines and help or hinder miners depending on their mood, or something...these are apparently named this because of some reference or connection to enlisted sailors; Gene Vincent was a sailor and this, presumably, accounts for name of his band...
5. The "League Moon Monkey Mix" includes an extra line: "You scored passages to assuage their post-latent sexual baldy alopecia."
Comments (39)
Also, there was a "Bald-Headed League" in the US in the early 1980s: http://tinyurl.com/baldleague
You've got a "The great league of belad-headed men"
and
"And every say it's my pleasure"
"I start to wonder if I'm becoming his muse when the next track becomes a diatribe entitled 'The League of Bald-Headed Men'. I am clearly the founding member. The lyrics aren't taking much working out these days, are they?"
"What's cool now is that, when I first joined the group, any shows that we did in England, when we turned up at the venue, and the majority of the audience would be 35-40-year- old guys. Very, very critical. But what's really, really cool is that in the past 3-4 years in England, we've had this explosion of American bands like the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, the Strokes, the White Stripes, and they have quite often said, when they've been asked, "Who are your inspirations?," they've all said The Fall. So what's really cool now, especially in the States, is that we're coming to the shows and there's loads of young people there. And that's so refreshing to Mark. Because he cares! He really cares. I mean, he wrote the song "The League of Bald-headed Gentlemen," and I believe that's what that refers to. The fact that all he'd see was bald heads in the crowd. That was the thing, you know - he got a bit sick and tired of it."
Link:
http://www.markprindle.com/pritchard-i.htm
http://getsmart.wikia.com/wiki/League_of_Bald-Headed_Men
Episodes of the show have been shown intermittently over the years on UK TV, on various networks, though not necessarily all of them.
But most significantly, and again in line with my instinct that MES tends to use recent lyrical inspiration, Channel 4 broadcast a run of the show in 1992.
The song was first heard at Birmingham Town Hall on 19 November 1992. I was there.
But the Reformation! site (https://sites.google.com/site/reformationposttpm/fall-tracks/the-league-of-bald-headed-men) notes that :
So wouldn't it be interesting if we could locate a broadcast of the relevant episode close to the first appearance of the song, or lyric?
Yes it would.
And we can!
Because Channel 4 Broadcast Diamonds are a Spy's Best Friend at 12pm on Saturday 22 August 1992 [Source: Daily Mail TV guide, 22/8/92, p.32].
I reckon Alan has nailed this one.
The episode is available online: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x55xsc0
Not really. If we hadn't found that, I'd still think the evidence was pretty well dispositive.
If you imagine that MES' muses have been fed with a mix of Radio Times cut-outs (+ stories, former/planned staged events, etc) then search for Scarfe, League of gentlemen. I figure the muses' diet changed somewhat around 1989-91.
A certain president used the pseudonym "John Barron" - search Genome and find 29 Acacia Avenue (then associate to about Ammonia Avenue or Barron Knights)...
What it's all about? No clue. Op8 of/for the masses?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zyUG0KHlKk
/ˈsʌpjʊreɪt/
verb
3rd person present: suppurates
undergo the formation of pus; fester
It does sound like "mongs" to me.
Dan
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bluecap
Of course the "blue caps" themselves were named in reference to enlisted sailors (as Gene Vincent had himself been), so perhaps there's that angle as well.
Anyway, "Surely" is a bit strong, as leagues are ten a penny.
As well as those already mentioned, there's the Justice League of America (DC Comics), and The League of Frightened Men (1937).
It's a fairly generic title, really.
Is your house for sale?"
In French an "agent immobilier" is a real-estate agent. "Immobilier" is anything to do with selling land + houses.