Fibre Book Troll

Lyrics

Modeselektion:

By the third rows
They decided six pounds of apple may be sufficient (2)
I tried to buy an apple for ten cents
No matter
When will I find my book friends?
I get no help from online something
Or online summat
I need a Facebook troll

In fight against
In fight against imposter
When I smile, I've gained friend
He says he will not access my daughter

I need a Facebook troll
I want a Facebook troll
I want a Facebook troll
I want a fucking Facebook troll

I need a Facebook troll
I get no help
I get no help
Burning TV person or else burn sausages
I want a Facebook troll
I need a Facebook troll
I need a Facebook troll

When I ask computer friend
To find a hen party
They say, "You again, hey?"
I ask them
I get no help
I want a need a need a
I want a Facebook troll
I want a Facebook troll
I want a Facebook troll
I want a fucking Facebook troll

I get no help
I get no help
But sometimes I command those secret extras
Off the dress called Samuel
Those spies entice him
Is up on a spit
When I found my Facebook troll
I gave him presents
I gave him holidays

I want a Facebook troll
I want a Facebook troll

I get no help
I get no help
I get nothing
I got my fucking Facebook
I get no help
I get no help

Your new tattoos confuse me

I get strawberries off a person
I want a fucking Facebook troll
I am a fucking Facebook troll
I am a fucking Facebook troll
I want I am a fucking Facebook troll
I'm a troll

Sub-Lingual Tablet: (3)

I want a facebook troll
I want a fucking facebook troll
I need a facebook troll
I want a facebook troll

You must know, you must be able
to find a facebook troll
(and when I find my troll, I'll give him presents)

All of my life, I am surrounded by mere imposters
(I want a Facebook imposter)
I say to you,
I want a facebook troll
I want a fucking facebook troll
I want a facebook--

I will expect the 2.50% of my royalities

I want a facebook troll,
I want a fucking facebook troll
I want a facebook troll
And the past today is a new future tomorrow

I want a facebook troll
I want a facebook troll
I want a facebook troll
I want a facebook troll
I want a fucking facebook troll, I want a facebook troll

Shut up, shut up!

Notes

1. Thanks to Chris Goodhead for transcribing the lyrics. I would welcome corrections, this is a good first pass but I'm pretty sure some of it is wrong--some of this is indisctinct and the transcription is highly speculative.

This was released in 2014 on a compilation called Modeselektion Volume 3. The original working title, like the lyrics, was "Facebook Troll." Perhaps this caused fear of litigation in someone.

MES has said that this song is about how he "can't get anyone to get rid of my imposters in the internet." In fact, there is a Facebook page under the name "Mark E. Smith," but the account holder doesn't post as MES; this actually seems quite common with famous people, for instance Jimi Hendrix has a Facebook page, but it doesn't seem that the intention is to bamboozle people into thinking he's communicating from beyond the grave. There is a Twitter page under MES's name which does purport to be the man himself, although it seems clear to anyone paying a modicum of attention that it's a spoof (which hasn't stopped certain journalists from occasionally quoting "Mark E. Smith"!).

2. An oblique reference to Apple computers? In any case, the lyrics are computer-y, so I thought of that...

3. This song returns on Sub-Lingual Tablet and somehow a catchy but long (and perhaps a bit monotonous) trifle has become a bona fide Fall classic. The lyrics have changed--gone is the fruit, and along with it any hint of monotony. The array of sounds that surround this simple but effective riff is nothing short of astounding--I will even say stupendous. As for the lyrics, you get the idea...
Thanks for The BEF for transcribing the Sub-Lingual Tablet version.

More Information

FIbre Book Troll: Fall Tracks A-Z

Comments (20)

1. Thop | 23/06/2015

Another take on the first verse:

Eye of the cosmos

For the viral sycopants
No harpoon may be sufficient

I tried to buy a book for track sense
No matter
When will I find my book friends?
I get no help from online something,
From online summat
I need a facebook troll

In fight against
In fight against imposters
When I smile I can't frown
He says you will not exist, by God

I wanna facebook troll
I wanna facebook troll
I wanna facebook troll
I wanna f'ckin' facebook troll

I need a facebook troll
I get no help
I get no help
From TV person they say,
"Come over to our house
for home-made sandwiches!"

2. Thop | 23/06/2015

Ps. Sorry: refers to the Modeselektor version

3. David Sanction | 09/01/2016

There was the Twitter page that impersonated MES. Maybe he got Facebook and Twitter confused?

4. bzfgt | 19/01/2016

Yeah, I don't think he's making pinpoint distinctions...

5. dannyno | 24/08/2016

Typo!

"This was released in 2014 on a compilation called Modoselektion Volume 3." - it's "Modeselektion".

6. rik | 07/10/2016

( on cd version) It should be noted, at about 4:52... I think we get something like " your new tattoo.. confuse me"

7. bzfgt | 15/10/2016

I can't tell where I am with the lyrics in that mess at the end, I just stuck it in somewhere. If someone ever wants to listen to and try to straighten all that out then I'll accept their work and replace mine (or whomever's that is, I can't even remember if it's mine or Chris's at the end there)

8. harleyr | 10/02/2017

>He says he will not access my gut

I'm pretty sure that should be
>He says you will not access my daughter

Smith swallows the last word on the Modeselektor recording, but it's clear on at least a couple of live recordings out there.

Why daughter? An allusion to fears about online grooming I guess.

9. bzfgt | 11/02/2017

Yes, I made the change.

10. bzfgt | 11/02/2017

Sounds like "daught'" but it's as plausible as anything we've got.

11. Caped Hector | 02/04/2019

"And when I find my troll I'll give him presents" is my signature on the Fall Forum. Such a great line. It is a TRAP. When the troll finally reveals himself hoping for a present Mark E Smith will do bad things to him. The whole song is an elaborate TRAP!

12. bzfgt (link) | 21/06/2019

Don't fall for it!

13. Evan Boyer | 24/03/2021

Huh. The first couple times I heard this I thought he was saying "I won a Facebook trial, I won a fucking Facebook trial!" Which I daresay is even funnier. I thought it was a dig at everybody trying to score points on each other on social media platforms, especially those a noxious as Facebook.

14. dannyno | 29/07/2022

Ted Kessler, "Q Maverick: Mark E Smith", Q magazine, July 2015:

The most interesting song on the album is Facebook Troll, which has Smith demanding over a sinister electro-funk that he be delivered a Facebook troll. Turns out, it’s a true story.

“I had these fellas saying they were me,” he explains. “Three on Facebook, two on the Twitter. My Irish mates said there was one getting 14,000 hits a day.”

This, he says, played out badly with his Irish fanbase. “In Ireland there are kids on farms who are really into The Fall and they think they’re talking to me. So I started talking to my computer mates… I mean, I used to smoke dope with the bloke who invented this shit in the ’80s…”

Before this statement can be properly interrogated, Smith is unveiling the plan he came up with to ensnare his impersonators.
“I said, ‘Let’s use your computer and say that I am Michelle aged five – would you like to meet?’” His friends said this was a bad idea.

“‘OK then, say I am the real Mark E Smith and I am going to rip your fucking head off.’ They were, like, ‘No, Mark.’”

He shakes his head in a what-is-the-world-coming-to fashion. He didn’t want to start up his own Facebook page, nor did he want to issue a statement in case “people mistake me for Morrissey.” When he contacted Google they asked for a copy of his passport. No chance. Salvation came in surprising form: Richard Madeley.

“No joke. This guy at Granada reckons that Richard Madeley had invented something that could track anybody on Twitter.”

Using Richard Madeley’s technology, Smith says he called one of his impersonators and left a message for him. “I said, ‘I am Mark E Smith and every day I awake weeping over this intrusion. Please stop.’ Worked, but on the Fall websites everybody was saying what a bastard I was.”

What social media teaches us, concludes Smith, is that “people really are as daft as you thought.”

https://web.archive.org/web/20190816070919/https://www.qthemusic.com/articles/mark-e-smiths-final-q-interview

15. George Henderson (link) | 01/06/2023

What a great track, what a heartening story.
FYI, the musical phrase that opens this song on the Sub-Lingual Tablet version is the flying monkey chant from Wizard of Oz; The Breeders opened Cannonball, one of their two big hits (the other being Divine Hammer) by singing the same notes.

16. George Henderson | 01/06/2023

The Wizard of Oz/Divine Hammer flying monkey chant is a two-part, phrase, Fibre Book Troll intro uses the first part of it - Flying Monkeys is a common term for the people who back up Facebook trolls

17. George Henderson (link) | 22/06/2023

To clear up a blunder, Cannonball is definitely the Breeders song I mean - and to be exactly exact, the chant is that of the Wicked Witch of the West's palace guard, not her flying monkeys per se.