The Wright Stuff

Lyrics

(1)

Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo

That boy certainly transferred himself (2)
From the footballer before
You'd hardly recognise him
As a child, everywhere he went
Probably people would say

Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo

It was symbolic to a point
But nowadays, eccentric lad
Who keeps false, plastic women's bosoms

The Wright stuff!
How did he find
The Wright stuff!

Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo

I said, nowadays
Eccentric lad
He keeps false, plastic women's bosoms under his TV desk and dressing room
Oh yes
Growing up, his family had no problems with nudity
In fact, this held his dad in good stead
On I'm A Celebrity
(Doo doo-doo-doo)
(Doo doo-doo-doo)
Get Me Out Of Here
(Doo doo-doo-doo) (3)

Comprehensive in thought, he overlooks
The fake camera from his desk

The Wright stuff!
Who did he find?
The Wright stuff!

Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Everybody wore the same
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
He overlooks the mock camera from his desk
For it's the wettest London weather, for, in his memory at least
Ever

Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Everybody wore the same
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Look at her

When that woman trapped her scarf
In the tube
And some inconsiderable passenger left the window open

The wind was blowing

The Wright stuff!
How did he find
The Wright stuff!

Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
The Wright stuff
Everybody wore the same

The Wright stuff!
How did he find
The Wright stuff!

How did he find
The plastic bosoms

Everybody wore the same

Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo

Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo

You're gorging every can of food
Because you can't find
The Wright stuff!
How did he find
The Wright stuff!
Everybody wore the same

Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo

The Wright stuff
How did he find
The false bosoms
How did he find
The Wright stuff

His dad in the middle
His mum with the scar
The Wright stuff

Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo

Everybody wore the same
Money wasn't tight

Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo
The Wright stuff!
How did he find
The Wright stuff!

Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Everybody wore the same
That boy
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
That scar
Her hat
The wind
The window left open so inconsiderate
Of him
The Wright stuff
How did he find

Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo doo-doo-doo

Her head hurts
He left the window open again
Doo doo-doo-doo-doo
It won't happen again
People would say
He would look around
He would see his memory collage
His parents, naked

(Cheering)

 

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Notes

1. These lyrics may have been partially or wholly written by Eleni, who handles lead vocals on the song. Lines like "transferred himself" (rather than "transformed") sound like MES's trademark mangling of the king's English, but then again Poulou is not a native speaker so this technique, which took MES years to perfect, may come naturally to her (but see note 2). 

Wright Plastic Products Co., LLC is a plastic manufacturer located in Michigan; judging by my Google results, the Wright stuff is not particularly hard to find...

According to PTSN and Dan:

Musically, the song is based on 'Belfast Boy' by Don Fardon. Originally it was composed by Raymond Smith, Johnny Harris and Tony Colton for the 1970 BBC 1 documentary The World of Georgie Best, which was first shown on Wednesday 11 February 1970, at 8pm. It was first repeated in 1994. It spent five weeks on the chart in April 1970, peak position #32. In February 2006 a re-recorded version was released in the wake of Best's death the previous November, hitting a peak of #77 during the one week it was in the charts. Both songs refer to the subject footballer as a youth, player, and afterwards.  in 2004, a couple of years for the debut of this song (and so instinctively I revolt against the connection) the ex-footballer Ian Wright presented a short-lived Candid Camera hidden-camera style show on BBC 1 called "Spy TV". It was broadcast from 10 January 2004. Mock camera...?

And one of the jokes is described by the Daily Mail of 10th January as involving a boyfriend meeting his girlfriend's parents, who turn out to be naturists. A bit more reading reveals that the naturist episode does feature Wright appearing - apparently nude - as the president of the naturist club. The boyfriend is an Arsenal fan, you see.

So this seems like a strong connection, and either the lyric is based on this episode of the TV show, or on Wright being interviewed about it.

Wrighty's Back With the Arse
By Adam Gillham, p.39
 

Former Arsenal star Ian Wright shows off his latest strip... for real.

The cheeky ex-England striker-turned-TV presenter stripped off in a stunt for his new Candid Camera-style BBC programme.

In Spy TV, unsuspecting members of the public suddenly find themselves in crazy situations with the results filmed by secret cameras.

The show's first victim is Arsenal fan Wayne Akehurst, 20, who was set up by girlfriend Sophie. She still hadn't taken him home to meet her parents, so the crew got two actors to pose as mum and dad Richard and Sandra.

After being introduced to Wayne the pair begin stripping off as they chat to him. Sophie's "dad" informs Wayne that they are naturists. Richard then tells Wayne he is vice-chairman of a naturist club and that the former Gunner Wrighty, 39, is honorary chairman. Minutes later Ian arrives wearing just an overcoat.

He takes it off and tells Wayne: "This is one of the most natural things." before creasing up with laughter and admitting the prank. Wayne, of Maidenhead, Berks, said: "I didn't know where to look."

^

2. "Transformed" would be expected here. Dan points out that it may be an allusion to football, where the players are sometimes "transferred" from one club to another.

^

3. I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here! is a British reality television program in which a group of celebrities lives together in the jungle, vying for the title of King or Queen, as the case may be, of the jungle. The show caused a bit of a stir when one of the "celebrities," David Haye, was shown naked in the shower; Haye has a son named Cassius Clay, leading one to wonder whether this is a song about little Cassius. 

Correction: David Haye didn't appear on the show until 2012, about five years after the release of Reformation Post TLC, as That Man points out below. I'm sure That Man doesn't want to be That Guy, but...

...for the sake of That Joke, I have to leave This Note in.

And, Kurious Green comes onto my comment situation all preachy and teachy too, the know-it-all, and points our nosey noses to MES's tell-all in the Guardian:

"You turned down the opportunity to appear on I'm A Celebrity in 2004 when John Lydon walked off. Would you have handled all those kangaroo testicles and witchetty grubs?

I could have handled it then. I couldn't handle it now. I was tempted because I was absolutely broke. Thing is, you cross that line, you never go back. People look at you different."

Like next year's new thing of yesteryear, the man has never sold out...

^

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Comments (15)

dannyno
  • 1. dannyno | 13/07/2013
Ian Wright is a former professional footballer who after hanging up his boots became a TV chat show host:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ian_Wright#Broadcasting_career

Perhaps "transferred himself" is a reference to the soccer transfer season.

On the other hand, Matthew Wright is a a former Sun and Daily Mirror writer whose Channel 5 TV show was called "The Wright Stuff".
That Man
  • 2. That Man | 09/01/2014
Reformation Post TLC predates Haye's appearance on 'I'm A Celebrity...' by about five years.
dannyno
  • 3. dannyno | 13/07/2014
The bosoms are surely false, not flawless.
Kurious Green
  • 4. Kurious Green | 20/04/2015
It may be of interest that MES was invited to participate in the show, a few years prior to the release of TLC:

You turned down the opportunity to appear on I'm A Celebrity in 2004 when John Lydon walked off. Would you have handled all those kangaroo testicles and witchetty grubs?

I could have handled it then. I couldn't handle it now. I was tempted because I was absolutely broke. Thing is, you cross that line, you never go back. People look at you different.


http://www.theguardian.com/music/2012/dec/27/mark-e-smith-the-fall
PTSN
  • 5. PTSN | 13/05/2018
Musically, the song is based on "Belfast Boy" by Don Fardon. Originally released in 1970 but with a new, similar version in 2006 after Best's death.

Both songs refer to the subject footballer as a youth, player, and afterwards.

Re fake plastic breasts, Gazza was drunkenly wearing them in a famous photo in 1990.
dannyno
  • 6. dannyno | 13/05/2018
Comment #5, good call on "Belfast Boy". Surely not coincidence. Originally it was composed by Raymond Smith, Johnny Harris and Tony Colton for the 1970 BBC 1 documentary The World of Georgie Best, which was first shown on Wednesday 11 February 1970, at 8pm. It was first repeated in 1994.

It spent five weeks on the chart in April 1970, peak position #32. In February 2006 a re-recorded version was released in the wake of Best's death the previous November, hitting a peak of #77 during the one week it was in the charts.

On Colton etc see: http://zani.co.uk/archive/music-archive/item/391-tony-colton-a-forgotten-and-an-important-sixties-figure

Clip from or edited version (because the original seems to have been 50 minutes) of the documentary:

or:

See also: https://genome.ch.bbc.co.uk/6dd51eda0e434717b248ae315dd37e3a
dannyno
  • 7. dannyno | 13/05/2018
On the clips in YouTube - both are taken from the 1994 broadcast, which I can confirm is described as "excerpts" from the 1970 documentary in the newspapers at the time.
dannyno
  • 8. dannyno | 16/05/2018
Just to note that in 2004, a couple of years for the debut of this song (and so instinctively I revolt against the connection) the ex-footballer Ian Wright presented a short-lived Candid Camera hidden-camera style show on BBC 1 called "Spy TV". It was broadcast from 10 January 2004. Mock camera...?

And one of the jokes is described by the Daily Mail of 10th January as involving a boyfriend meeting his girlfriend's parents, who turn out to be naturists...
dannyno
  • 9. dannyno | 16/05/2018
A bit more reading reveals that the naturist episode does feature Wright appearing - apparently nude - as the president of the naturist club. The boyfriend is an Arsenal fan, you see.

So this seems like a strong connection, and either the lyric is based on this episode of the TV show, or on Wright being interviewed about it.
dannyno
  • 10. dannyno | 16/05/2018
Article from the Sunday Mirror, 30 March 2003 [it took nearly a year before the show actually aired].

Wrighty's Back With the Arse
By Adam Gillham, p.39

Former Arsenal star Ian Wright shows off his latest strip... for real.

The cheeky ex-England striker-turned-TV presenter stripped off in a stunt for his new Candid Camera-style BBC programme.

In Spy TV, unsuspecting members of the public suddenly find themselves in crazy situations with the results filmed by secret cameras.

The show's first victim is Arsenal fan Wayne Akehurst, 20, who was set up by girlfriend Sophie. She still hadn't taken him home to meet her parents, so the crew got two actors to pose as mum and dad Richard and Sandra.

After being introduced to Wayne the pair begin stripping off as they chat to him. Sophie's "dad" informs Wayne that they are naturists. Richard then tells Wayne he is vice-chairman of a naturist club and that the former Gunner Wrighty, 39, is honorary chairman. Minutes later Ian arrives wearing just an overcoat.

He takes it off and tells Wayne: "This is one of the most natural things." before creasing up with laughter and admitting the prank. Wayne, of Maidenhead, Berks, said: "I didn't know where to look."
dannyno
  • 11. dannyno | 16/05/2018
Spy TV broadcast dates, double checked. First broadcast was indeed 15 January, not 10th.

ep 1: 15 January 2004
Tonight a young man is flabbergasted when the couple he thinks are the parents of his girlfriend begin to strip off their clothes - but there's an even bigger surprise in the form of host Ian Wright.


ep 2: 22 January 2004
More covert camera set-ups as a paintballer is duped into believing he is being recruited to the Secret Service. Plus just how charitable are the people of Britain?


ep 3: 29 January 2004
More covert camera set-ups as a father amazes his kids with some slick kung-fu moves and two employees end up with the boss from hell - literally.


ep 4: 5 February 2004
The covert-camera show watches husbands as they attend a "business dinner" with their wives' boss- who turns out to be a diamond smuggler- and shoppers as they endorse a bogus brain-enhancing product.


ep 5: 12 February 2004
The covert-camera show captures reactions to a wheelchair with a life of its own, a phoney fortune-teller, and the side-effects of a bogus drug trial.


ep 6: 19 February 2004
The covert-camera show captures reactions to an old lady with criminal intent, the security guard who walks into a Hollywood film audition and how queue-jumping earns a supermarket customer £ 1 million.
bzfgt
  • 12. bzfgt (link) | 04/07/2018
I made myself chuckle rereading this:

Lines like "transferred himself" (rather than "transformed") sound like MES's trademark mangling of the king's English, but then again Poulou is not a native speaker so this technique, which took MES years to perfect, may come naturally to her. 

Now. For fuck's sake, I have to figure out what all this football stuff is on this one too? Who the fuck is "Gazza"? Is that supposed to be something intelligible? And, thanks for your comments, by the way...aside from my being a douche about it because you're confusing me.
bzfgt
  • 13. bzfgt (link) | 04/07/2018
OK did I do that right? Did I get out of it what I was supposed to?
bzfgt
  • 14. bzfgt (link) | 04/07/2018
By the way what a putrid song that "Belfast Boy" is...
dannyno
  • 15. dannyno | 05/07/2018
Comment #12. Great to find someone with even less football knowledge than me. Gazza is celebrity footballer Paul Gascoigne's nickname.

"Transferred", as I note in comment #1, could be being used in a football sense: the move of a footballer from one club to another: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transfer_(association_football)

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