My Ex-Classmates' Kids




Cry for them
5 days per week
I cry for me, three days at least
I cry for me, I cry for thee

On radio
Politburo sucker
On cooking show
On cooking show

My ex-classmates' kids

Pressure under and over
Pressure over the skips
Over price adverts
Broken down laptops

My ex-classmates' kids

Talking show not end
They cheat the kids
I cry for them
I cry for me, I cry for thee

My ex-classmates' kids

Talking show never end
Til our populace
Been on
I cry for me, I cry for thee

My ex-classmates' kids

No end it it
Smells like twigs

My ex-classmates' kids

Up your nose
Aftershave like little twigs...
Twigs (2)


1. Lyrically, this is a return to the theme of "Married, 2 Kids," this time from a safer, third-person perspective, and with the contempt leavened with a little pity, or, if you're cynical, watered with crocodile tears...both songs end with a reference to aftershave, doubtless a symbol of drab conjugal mediocrity for MES.  The song began its life, with completely different lyrics, as "I Wake Up In the City." According to Ed Blaney, Blaney wrote all the lyrics to both the latter song and to this one. Both songs are credited to Blaney and Smith; it is not clear, however, what Smith contributed.


2. Martin points out that aftershave is sometimes made out of twigs, or something.

Zack has discovered that  "On [i]Live in San Francisco[/i] he clearly says: "Like little twigs. Like Twix. Like little chocolate." 


Comments (14)

  • 1. Martin | 24/02/2014
Puzzled by the reference to twigs, it seems that they are sometimes used in aftershaves and other perfumes. The orange tree is a popular source.
  • 2. Zack | 21/02/2017
There has been some debate as to whether he's saying "twigs" or "Twix" at the end. ( )

On Live in San Francisco he enunciates and clearly says both: "Like little twigs. Like Twix. Like little chocolate." ( )
  • 3. Zack | 21/02/2017
"Smell - dry twigs" has got to be either "Smells like twigs" or "Smells likes Swiss."
  • 4. bzfgt | 25/02/2017
I'll go with the former for now.
  • 5. bzfgt | 25/02/2017
Rather unexciting version, maybe because the guitars aren't crisp.
  • 6. harleyr | 02/05/2018
>>Talking show never end
To our populous

I believe that's actually
Talking show never end / till all populace / been on
  • 7. bzfgt (link) | 09/07/2018
Harley, yes!
  • 8. dannyno | 22/09/2020
"Like little twigs"

Hat tip to @StephenSuri on Twitter, who on 17 July 2020 drew my attention to Columbo, series 8, episode 4, 1989, "Grand Deceptions". Taken me a while to get round to looking at it.

I've extracted two short sections of the episode (couple of minutes in total), you'll see why.

Note that the "little twigs" were from round the victim's collar. A bit, you might say, like aftershave?

Interesting, but case not proven. I couldn't, for example, see that the episode had been repeated during a suitably close time period. Although, once you're into the modern TV and video age that kind of chronological evidence is less useful. But still, there is it.
  • 9. Kiespijn | 01/10/2020
The smarting pain of aftershave up the nose does feel like little twigs spreading upward.
The play on words shifts from twigs to twix - two fingers, and they're up your nose.
  • 10. Zarley | 01/02/2021
Anyone else feel like the riff is inspired by The Modern Lovers song Roadrunner?
Jake Atkinson
  • 11. Jake Atkinson | 26/07/2021
Listening to the reissue of AYAMW and came here for the lyrics to this, my favourite song off the album. Seeing the “twigs” reference immediately made me think of Issey Mayaki and their advert with cinnamon sticks as it was everywhere around the time the album was recorded.
  • 12. dannyno | 15/08/2021
Comment #11: that's a good call, I've checked and those adverts were indeed being used in the right time period. Given the "little twigs" line is so similar to Columbo, though, I feel like it could be referencing both, like he saw the Columbo episode and then linked it to the advert.
  • 13. harleyr | 20/08/2021
I did see someone with little twigs up their nose this morning… at my local barber’s. A fellow patron was having his nostrils waxed, an image I won’t get out of my head as
quickly as I would wish. And afterwards he had some aftershave applied.
  • 14. Ken | 08/05/2023
Little twigs could perhaps be a reference to the snack, twiglets.

I haven't eaten these for years but what I do remember is that, as well as obliterating your taste buds for the rest of the day, they left your fingers sticky and smelling horrible.

If so, that might tie in with the earlier reference to Skips, creating a motif of sorts because Skips are another snack, with a much sweeter flavour, marketed at children.

Add a comment